Ep-72: Cookie Monster Conspiracies & Raw-Dogging Dough 🍪

Welcome back, Demon Babies! This week your hosts are diving headfirst into everything cookies. The best cookies, the worst cookies, elite flavors, overrated classics, and the very serious debate of crispy vs soft baked. From grocery store cookies to fresh bakery masterpieces, we’re breaking down the cookies that shaped our childhoods and the ones that completely ruined our self control. And yes… all in 20 topics in 20 minutes.

Cookies seem simple, but they’re not. There are strong opinions, emotional attachments, and people who are way too loyal to one specific type. We get into chocolate chip supremacy, cookie dough behavior, milk pairings, holiday cookies, and the difference between a cookie that’s comforting and one that changes your life.

Expect hot takes, cookie rankings, dessert debates, and a full breakdown of why cookies somehow become a personality trait.

Listen for:
🍪 Soft baked vs crispy cookie debate
🍪 Best and worst cookie flavors
🍪 Grocery store cookies vs bakery cookies
🍪 Cookie dough opinions and milk pairings
🍪 The fastest, funniest, most chaotic 20 minutes of your week

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New episodes every week. Cookies may vary.

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Transcript

SPEAKER_00 0:00

Welcome to another episode of the Demon Baby Podcast. I'm Demon of Hollywood, aka Joey Lombardo, and I'm sitting here with my cookie monster of a fiance, blonde baby.

SPEAKER_01 0:09

How are you?

SPEAKER_00 0:10

I'm good. How are you?

SPEAKER_01 0:11

I'm good. I can't wait to be craving cookies for the next four days.

SPEAKER_00 0:15

You're gonna be scratching and itching and ravenous looking. Rubbing your lips and out of going through the sweats! My withdrawals are crazy! I'm hot, I'm cold, I'm hot, I'm cold. Just get me the chocolate chip. ASAP! Yeah, you're a cookie fiend, so this should be quite the episode for you.

SPEAKER_01 0:33

I'm pretty excited.

SPEAKER_00 0:34

And if you haven't figured it out, today is the cookie episode. Bam. And this is Demon Baby, the best podcast in the world. We do 20 topics in 20 minutes, so sit back, relax, have a good chuckle, grab a cookie, and enjoy. Before we get into it.

SPEAKER_01 1:04

Every episode we start by doing a wellness check. So how are you? Unwell. Oh god, why? I just felt like shit. A little nauseous. Are you pregnant?

SPEAKER_00 1:18

I might be.

SPEAKER_01 1:19

Did you miss your period again? You've been working out too hard.

SPEAKER_00 1:23

No.

SPEAKER_01 1:24

Oh. Oh no. Really nauseous, huh?

SPEAKER_00 1:27

Yeah. That sucks. I know. Just hit me out of nowhere on my uh drive home. Really? I know.

SPEAKER_01 1:34

Weird.

SPEAKER_00 1:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:35

I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_00 1:36

I think maybe I'm dehydrated.

SPEAKER_01 1:37

Knowing you, you probably haven't had any water today.

SPEAKER_00 1:40

I had water today. When? Untrustworthy water though.

SPEAKER_01 1:44

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 1:45

Don't worry about it.

SPEAKER_01 1:47

What do you mean, untrustworthy water? Untrustworthy. How are you? I'm good. I mean, I hurt my back, so. You're old. I feel like 80 years old. I just, I mean, I almost threw up this morning from it. So we've both been nauseous today.

unknown 2:00

No.

SPEAKER_00 2:00

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 2:01

But I did hurt my back last week and it's still persisting and it sucks.

SPEAKER_00 2:05

Well, you're an old woman now.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

So we're not well today.

SPEAKER_00 2:09

We're well.

SPEAKER_01 2:10

We're well, but we're a bit of a hot mess. Hot? As long as we're hot?

SPEAKER_00 2:14

As long as we're hot, we're good. I don't care how messy we are, as long as it's a hot one, I'm happy. We're good. Why don't you hit me with the first topic? Cookie monster.

SPEAKER_01 2:24

The cookie monster was my favorite character on Elmo. Obviously. I was like, feel one with the Cookie Monster because that's how you eat cookies. I was like, this is That is how you eat cookies. That's probably my biggest um celebrity idol.

SPEAKER_00 2:40

Would you like to meet the Cookie Monster?

SPEAKER_01 2:41

Yeah, that would do a lot for me. That would be fun.

SPEAKER_00 2:46

That would hit a lot of nostalgia. I feel like the Cookie Monster is one of the better ones.

SPEAKER_01 2:50

He's funny, silly, just likes a cookie. He just wants to munch and eat, and he's just having a good time.

SPEAKER_00 2:55

He's like, I will gladly pay you tomorrow for a cookie today.

SPEAKER_01 2:59

Literally.

SPEAKER_00 3:00

Um, yeah, he's an addict.

SPEAKER_01 3:02

Yeah, what's your take on him?

SPEAKER_00 3:04

I like him. He's a good shade of blue. He's very royal blue.

SPEAKER_01 3:08

I wish I wore blue. I should have dressed like yeah. Your honor?

SPEAKER_00 3:12

Your honor?

SPEAKER_01 3:13

The cookie monster serving.

SPEAKER_00 3:14

You can't enter. Honor.

SPEAKER_01 3:17

Um next topic.

SPEAKER_00 3:19

Oreos.

SPEAKER_01 3:20

Oreos are the best unfrozen cookie sandwich.

SPEAKER_00 3:26

On a frozen cookie sandwich.

SPEAKER_01 3:28

Unfrozen.

SPEAKER_00 3:28

Unfrozen.

SPEAKER_01 3:29

They're not frozen. They're just normal chum. There's frozen cookies too. Those are good. But we're not talking about that. Oreos are the best unfrozen cookie sandwiches. There's other ones also.

SPEAKER_00 3:39

Okay. A cookie sandwich. I see what you're saying. Yes. Cookie cookie sandwich. Something in the middle.

SPEAKER_01 3:44

Yeah, it's cookie cream cookie.

SPEAKER_00 3:46

You know, Oreo's not even the main one.

SPEAKER_01 3:48

What do you mean?

SPEAKER_00 3:49

Someone was pre-Oreo.

SPEAKER_01 3:50

And they co-opted the co-opted the whole market.

SPEAKER_00 3:53

I love that. They did a good job. You know what the original one's name is? What? Hydrox.

SPEAKER_01 3:58

I wouldn't buy that. Sounds like Hyrox, and I don't need to compete like that. My back hurts.

SPEAKER_00 4:02

There you go. Oreos are vegan.

SPEAKER_01 4:04

I did know that. I love it. And they're delicious.

SPEAKER_00 4:06

What do you think of double stuff?

SPEAKER_01 4:08

What's my goal?

SPEAKER_00 4:08

What's your Oreo? What's your preferred Oreo?

SPEAKER_01 4:10

I like a double stuff.

SPEAKER_00 4:12

I know you do.

SPEAKER_01 4:12

Yeah, I always have. It's no surprise. What's your favorite type of Oreo? I like that Oreos come in every single flavor.

SPEAKER_00 4:22

I like thins.

SPEAKER_01 4:24

We know you like thins.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

Like crunch out of thin.

SPEAKER_01 4:26

This says a lot about who we are as people.

SPEAKER_00 4:28

The blondes are good too. I'm starting to see a lot of relationships. I'm seeing a lot of patterns. Oreo in life. I like thin blonde Oreos. Sometimes double stuff. Next topic. Whoa, I wasn't done with Oreos. Alright. They say it's milk's favorite cookie. Do you agree?

SPEAKER_01 4:46

Yeah, it does make the best milk after being dunked, and it's fun to soak one in.

SPEAKER_00 4:51

Yeah, when you soak it and it gets really soggy.

SPEAKER_01 4:53

Yeah, it somehow still tastes really good. Not every cookie can hold up to milk. I agree. An Oreo can.

SPEAKER_00 4:59

An Oreo is, I think, milk's. I think they're totally correct on that.

SPEAKER_01 5:02

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:03

It's milk's.

SPEAKER_01 5:04

They also had the best commercials growing up. I think their advertising campaign has to be one of the I mean, I haven't seen one in a long time, so the team might have fallen off. There might be a new marketing team.

SPEAKER_00 5:14

Their marketing team must be one of the highest paid.

SPEAKER_01 5:16

I would love to be in an Oreo commercial. I don't know how famous you have to be.

SPEAKER_00 5:21

You gotta be pretty famous. Yeah. I think they gave Selena Gomez her own Oreo.

SPEAKER_01 5:25

Her own Oreo?

SPEAKER_00 5:26

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 5:27

What's her flavor?

SPEAKER_00 5:28

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Well, that's not fun.

SPEAKER_00 5:29

Well, I'm sorry.

SPEAKER_01 5:30

I feel like maybe she's Mexican. Maybe it's like churro flavored.

SPEAKER_00 5:33

I don't think so. That would have a churro flavored Oreo.

SPEAKER_01 5:39

Yeah, it looks gross. There's mint ones. They're okay.

SPEAKER_00 5:41

They're fine. The fudge covered ones are very good.

SPEAKER_01 5:44

Yeah, those are those ones are addictive. Those are really addicting.

SPEAKER_00 5:47

They have gluten-free Oreos.

SPEAKER_01 5:49

Those taste basically the same too, which is amazing.

SPEAKER_00 5:51

I'll say one of the best gluten-free Oreo options is the gluten-free gluten. One of the best gluten-free options. Options is the Oreo gluten.

SPEAKER_01 5:59

Totally agree. It bases it bastes the same. It tastes basically the same.

SPEAKER_00 6:03

Yeah, I agree. Yeah, it's almost unrecognizable. Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:07

If someone handed me that, I'd think, oh, it's an orange.

SPEAKER_00 6:09

I think I could easily mix them up blindfolded. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 6:11

Yeah. All right. Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 6:13

Cookie dough.

SPEAKER_01 6:15

Oh, I was a fiend for that too. Like a chocolate chip, raw cookie dough. Yeah, raw. Yeah, ate that.

SPEAKER_00 6:20

Didn't care about salmonella. Raw dogging it out there. No. Quite literally raw dogging it.

SPEAKER_01 6:24

Yeah, quite literally. Yeah, I love a raw cookie dough.

SPEAKER_00 6:28

Did you like when they came out with edible cookie dough? No. You weren't about that. You like the danger.

SPEAKER_01 6:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 6:32

A little thrill.

SPEAKER_01 6:33

I was like, don't let me mess around with my own body. Let me let me get sick. Let me get sick. I'm gonna eat the real shit.

SPEAKER_00 6:42

I think if you have a good eggs, you're pretty alright.

SPEAKER_01 6:44

You're probably alright.

SPEAKER_00 6:45

Probably alright.

SPEAKER_01 6:46

What about you? Do you eat the cookie dough?

SPEAKER_00 6:48

I would have a little. I wasn't like a You weren't a fiend. I wasn't a fiend, but I'm not the cookie monster.

SPEAKER_01 6:53

We're not the same here.

SPEAKER_00 6:53

I'm Elmo, you're cookie monster.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

Would you eat just like the food safe cookie dough?

SPEAKER_00 6:59

I didn't, I mean, I wouldn't even really get into that. I thought that I didn't like I that at least felt chalky.

SPEAKER_01 7:04

Yeah, see, I never bought it. I think it was. I literally don't think I ever tried it. I thought it was dumb from the jump.

SPEAKER_00 7:09

Dumb from the jump.

SPEAKER_01 7:10

Alright. Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 7:13

Milk with cookie.

SPEAKER_01 7:15

Necessary.

SPEAKER_00 7:17

You were one of the my family is a big not water family. I remember coming to your house. You guys are a big water family.

SPEAKER_01 7:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 7:24

Everyone drinks a lot of water in your family. You guys would have water with cookies before.

SPEAKER_01 7:30

That's actually not true. That's true.

SPEAKER_00 7:33

I mean, you were in dunking, but you would eat a cookie and drink water at the same time.

SPEAKER_01 7:37

But I'd also have a glass of milk also for dunking. Pretty much always. Not always. I cannot recall a time I've done it without a glass of milk.

SPEAKER_00 7:44

Well, I can. Well, some of us remember that. I had culture shock coming over.

SPEAKER_01 7:48

Okay, I had culture shock when I saw how much soda you guys drink.

SPEAKER_00 7:51

Well, we don't need to come at my family.

SPEAKER_01 7:53

Well, you came at mine, so I came at you. Tip for tat.

SPEAKER_00 7:57

Milk is so good with cooking. It's so important. It's so important.

SPEAKER_01 8:00

It's crazy how much they enhance each other.

SPEAKER_00 8:03

They really, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 8:04

Because you can change the flavors as you go. It's fantastic. You can really go on a journey.

SPEAKER_00 8:09

But I don't think you should do chocolate or strawberry milk with cookies. That's gross.

SPEAKER_01 8:15

That is gross. No, it has to. But you can do oat milk, you can do alternative milk though. I think that's fine. That's fine. But not chocolate or strawberry. That is gross.

SPEAKER_00 8:23

I say a cookie would even make like a low-fat skim milk better.

SPEAKER_01 8:27

Probably.

SPEAKER_00 8:28

Well, you're getting your fat somehow.

SPEAKER_01 8:29

Yeah, somewhere. Agreed.

SPEAKER_00 8:32

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 8:32

Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 8:33

Nutter butters.

SPEAKER_01 8:34

Nutter butters. I've only had this a couple of times.

SPEAKER_00 8:37

Sandwich cookies.

SPEAKER_01 8:38

See, I think it's a low it's bel for a sandwich cookie, it's below an Oreo. But as an adult, I think I would like to revisit.

SPEAKER_00 8:44

I think you'd like a nutter butter. They're so oily.

SPEAKER_01 8:47

I think that's a good thing.

SPEAKER_00 8:47

It's nice though. Because peanut butter is oily.

SPEAKER_01 8:49

Coats your tongue.

SPEAKER_00 8:50

Coats your tongue. Cuts your fingers.

SPEAKER_01 8:52

Oh. So it's like a more of a graham cracker, right?

SPEAKER_00 8:56

It's like an Oreo cracker. Or like a shortbread. Peanut butter.

SPEAKER_01 8:59

And peanut butter. But it's not dark like a chocolatey Oreo.

SPEAKER_00 9:02

No, the cracker is peanut butter flavored as well.

SPEAKER_01 9:06

It is?

SPEAKER_00 9:07

Yes.

SPEAKER_01 9:07

That's cool.

SPEAKER_00 9:08

Nut on nut.

SPEAKER_01 9:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 9:10

They have a crazy ad tape.

SPEAKER_01 9:12

Why?

SPEAKER_00 9:12

They do like crazy, cryptic, weird, like dark web looking stuff on TikTok.

SPEAKER_01 9:17

I've never seen it. I will be looking this up after.

SPEAKER_00 9:22

I'll do it. I'll do it. Yeah. Yeah. Uh I love nutter butters.

SPEAKER_01 9:27

Really?

SPEAKER_00 9:27

Huge nutter butter fan. Like writing on a couple.

SPEAKER_01 9:31

Ten.

SPEAKER_00 9:32

Nine?

SPEAKER_01 9:32

Nice. Yeah. We should have been writing all of these.

SPEAKER_00 9:36

We can go back.

SPEAKER_01 9:36

No. Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 9:39

Uh Chips Ahoy.

SPEAKER_01 9:42

Chips Ahoy are annoyingly mid.

SPEAKER_00 9:44

They are always disappointed, but they will scratch an itch. They will scratch an itch. But I will also say that the soft ones in the microwave for like 15 seconds, phenomenal.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

You've always said that. I've never fully agreed.

SPEAKER_00 10:02

That's because you're a hater.

SPEAKER_01 10:03

Yeah, I'm not a big Chipsoy.

SPEAKER_00 10:04

But yeah, Chips Ahoy should. I mean, I guess they are pretty perfect. Their Eminem one's pretty good. Yeah, but that's their best one. No, their Chewy one for me is the best one. Eminem's pretty good.

SPEAKER_01 10:14

The Chewy one's totally different. I'm thinking of like the traditional plain Chips Ahoy chocolate chips.

SPEAKER_00 10:18

I understand.

SPEAKER_01 10:18

That one's just you can eat a billion of them and not feel like you ate anything and kind of scratchy-itch, but not really have ever gotten that like real chocolatey or like nice doughy. I don't know. It's so mid. I think it's a five.

SPEAKER_00 10:34

It's okay.

SPEAKER_01 10:35

But the MM one is like an eight. Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 10:40

Chocolate on chocolate cookies. Not a fan.

SPEAKER_01 10:44

I I always want to be, and it just is a little too crazy.

SPEAKER_00 10:48

I can't stand it.

SPEAKER_01 10:50

At that point, I feel like I'm just having a brownie.

SPEAKER_00 10:52

You basically are, but it's still like not as good as a brownie is.

SPEAKER_01 10:56

Yeah, at that point I'd rather just have a brownie.

SPEAKER_00 10:58

Yeah. And chocolate on chocolate cookies. I guess a devil's food cookie.

SPEAKER_01 11:03

Then have a devil's food donut, you know?

SPEAKER_00 11:05

Devil's food donut, delicious. Delicious. Devil's food cake.

SPEAKER_01 11:08

But it's the texture. I think it's the texture thing that's wrong. It's a little too dry. It's wrong. Yeah. It's too too.

SPEAKER_00 11:15

It's a disgrace to society.

SPEAKER_01 11:16

It's a disgrace to cookies for sure.

SPEAKER_00 11:18

So disgrace to cookies and chocolate.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Agreed.

SPEAKER_00 11:20

Agreed.

SPEAKER_01 11:20

Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 11:22

Uh sugar cookies.

SPEAKER_01 11:25

Okay. So sugar cookies, like the Christmas ones with little decorations on them, are like amazing. I don't know why. They're like a little chemically.

SPEAKER_00 11:33

But like definitely a little chemically. But they're really yummy. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 11:36

But like an artisanal sugar cookie, eh. They're okay.

SPEAKER_00 11:40

Like a really nice one?

SPEAKER_01 11:41

Yeah, like it's yummy, but I wouldn't like go back for multiples.

SPEAKER_00 11:45

I feel like it's a decorative flex to have a really nice one.

SPEAKER_01 11:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 11:48

And it's really not full flavor.

SPEAKER_01 11:50

Like a really decorative one with the icing and everything. Yeah. Oh, I was thinking just like a sugar cookie. That's like a plain one.

SPEAKER_00 11:56

But with the icing too, though.

SPEAKER_01 11:57

Oh, with the royal frosting, it's very impressive. That's a decorative flex.

SPEAKER_00 12:00

That's what I'm saying.

SPEAKER_01 12:00

Yeah, agreed. Oh, I you know you're at a fancy party. Like if they have the really good fancy Royal Frosting ones.

SPEAKER_00 12:09

Sugar cookies sometimes hit hard though.

SPEAKER_01 12:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:13

Sometimes. They have the ability, but I think it's more dependent on yourself than them.

SPEAKER_01 12:18

If you're making them yourself, definitely. But it yeah. No, no, I mean on your taste buds and your how you go into it. In that moment. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:26

You need to be in the right mindset. Or else it's just gonna be.

SPEAKER_01 12:29

You know what? I will say, I think they need to have a good snap and be really crisp because when they're soft, then they're kind of yucky.

SPEAKER_00 12:36

They can get too soft, easy. Yeah. Then it feels like play-doh.

SPEAKER_01 12:39

Yeah, and it just tastes like chalk.

SPEAKER_00 12:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 12:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:41

Agreed.

SPEAKER_01 12:42

Next topic crumble cookies. Have we ever really tried crumble?

SPEAKER_00 12:47

I think our diets uh have never even allowed us to think about it, but they look disgusting to me.

SPEAKER_01 12:53

They look so gross. Sorry, crumble.

SPEAKER_00 12:56

You look gross to me.

SPEAKER_01 12:57

Yeah, it just I don't need a marshmallow. You feel like butter. I feel like we might have had it.

SPEAKER_00 13:03

No. We saw it, I think we got it like at the grove.

SPEAKER_01 13:07

There is not a crumble at the grove.

SPEAKER_00 13:09

Has there never been?

SPEAKER_01 13:10

No. There's one on like right there.

SPEAKER_00 13:12

Sprinkle cupcake.

SPEAKER_01 13:13

We've had sprinkle, but that's a that's a different lady. Different different family.

SPEAKER_00 13:16

Yeah, crumble seems like a little aggressive.

SPEAKER_01 13:18

It seems kind of like it seems like it seems like voodoo donuts of cookies.

SPEAKER_00 13:23

That or it seems like uh it feels like doom scrolling and put into a cookie.

SPEAKER_01 13:27

Yeah, like that's what doom scrolling feels like. I want a s'more and a cookie, and I want it.

SPEAKER_00 13:33

But just the brain, it's brain rock cookie.

SPEAKER_01 13:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:35

That's what it is. It's brain rock cookie for sure.

SPEAKER_01 13:38

I don't like. And they all feel like they're gonna taste like play-doh.

SPEAKER_00 13:41

They just all look gnarly.

SPEAKER_01 13:43

They look crazy.

SPEAKER_00 13:44

I feel like I want one bite of it and then I'm gonna. That's it. That's it.

SPEAKER_01 13:47

And I'm not even like calories. And I'm the one who can like binge eat a cookie.

SPEAKER_00 13:51

But like the cookie's not even a calorie thing. It is just truly No, there's like too much. You're gonna blow my palate out.

SPEAKER_01 13:57

Yeah. Yeah. It's too much sugar.

SPEAKER_00 13:59

Next topic Girl Scout cookies.

SPEAKER_01 14:02

I was hoping we'd go here.

SPEAKER_00 14:04

Oh. Child slavery.

SPEAKER_01 14:06

What? Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:07

Weird.

SPEAKER_01 14:08

Samoas or Carmel Delights. I don't know what they're called at this point. They changed their name over two years.

SPEAKER_00 14:12

That's showing our age.

SPEAKER_01 14:13

Thin mints.

SPEAKER_00 14:15

The gods. Tag alongs. Tag alongs, I would say. Never even fucked around and bought them. I am. It's because you don't like peanut butter like I do.

SPEAKER_01 14:24

No. Those two, for me, the fact I didn't get any this year was like a little bit of a little bit more. I'm gonna say the trifecta though.

SPEAKER_00 14:31

If you gotta go top three, those are the top three.

SPEAKER_01 14:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 14:33

And then they have what?

SPEAKER_01 14:35

The Don't even know.

SPEAKER_00 14:36

It's like a lemon one. Not gonna get that. Never had it. People do swear by them still. They must have a market. Why would they just keep them around?

SPEAKER_01 14:43

No, they definitely do. I'm sure there's people that want that lemon cookie, but that Caramel Delight, the Carmel Delight is the best thing in the world. What do you think about the Kiebler Elves knockoff one that they sell at the grocery store year-round?

SPEAKER_00 14:56

I don't it's good.

SPEAKER_01 14:57

I won't even buy it.

SPEAKER_00 14:58

It's not the same.

SPEAKER_01 14:58

I'm like, it's not from the Girl Scouts. I don't want it.

SPEAKER_00 15:01

Sorry, I only do child slavery cookies.

SPEAKER_01 15:04

Literally.

SPEAKER_00 15:04

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 15:05

Sorry.

SPEAKER_00 15:06

Sorry.

SPEAKER_01 15:06

But yeah, they're they're so good, and thin mints are just so good. Thin mints? Thin mints are the only chocolate on chocolate, though. Technically.

SPEAKER_00 15:13

Oh, and we're back. But it's mint chocolate.

SPEAKER_01 15:16

So it's different.

SPEAKER_00 15:17

It is a little different.

SPEAKER_01 15:17

And you put them in the freezer, get them together.

SPEAKER_00 15:19

I was just gonna say, I actually don't think I'd like them as much warm.

SPEAKER_01 15:22

No, they need to have that crisp.

SPEAKER_00 15:24

I need that.

SPEAKER_01 15:25

Yeah. That bite.

SPEAKER_00 15:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 15:27

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_00 15:28

Nice.

SPEAKER_01 15:29

Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 15:32

Um, I'm gonna join these two. Okay. I had homemade cookies and warm cookies.

SPEAKER_01 15:39

Okay, I agree. Homemade cookies, delicious. Homemade warm cookies and warm next level.

SPEAKER_00 15:47

Um I like it warm. I hate waiting for it to cool down. There's been plenty of times I'm doing the dragon bread while I'm trying to take it down when it's 300 days.

SPEAKER_01 16:00

What's your favorite flavor of warm at-home cookie?

SPEAKER_00 16:03

Chocolate, probably just chip. I don't think chocolate chip. Chips Ahoy, yeah.

SPEAKER_01 16:07

Regular Well, it's not, it's chocolate chip.

SPEAKER_00 16:10

Yeah, chocolate chip, but the chips ahoy. Or no, Toll House?

SPEAKER_01 16:14

Nestle Tollhouse. Like, what are we saying?

SPEAKER_00 16:16

Yeah, I was trying to screw it. Nestle Toll House. Nestle Tollhouse. Yeah, that's how regular bite.

SPEAKER_01 16:20

Yep.

SPEAKER_00 16:20

That's nice.

SPEAKER_01 16:22

That? Or like the ones I made for my mom for Mother's Day last year, those thick chocolate chunk chocolate.

SPEAKER_00 16:27

No, that's not for me.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

I loved it. It's like when the chocolate's pooled around, it's delicious.

SPEAKER_00 16:31

Nope, I don't like it. It's too messy.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

My favorite one.

SPEAKER_00 16:34

Nope. What about homemade sugar cookies with the like pumpkin on it and stuff like that? Pillsbury Doughboy.

SPEAKER_01 16:41

We already talked about this. I love these.

SPEAKER_00 16:43

With the faces and stuff. Yeah. Oh, I didn't know you were joining those. But homemade.

SPEAKER_01 16:47

Homemade delicious.

SPEAKER_00 16:48

Homemade delicious. Love.

SPEAKER_01 16:49

Homemade cookies are just the best.

SPEAKER_00 16:51

But there is a version of the homemade cookie when you just barely burn it.

SPEAKER_01 17:00

Intentionally, or you ruin it.

SPEAKER_00 17:03

Low-key ruin it, but you have to talk yourself into thinking it's okay.

SPEAKER_01 17:08

Just scrape it off.

SPEAKER_00 17:10

You know that in a time, yeah. You taste that burn so strong.

SPEAKER_01 17:13

That's when you're really letting it soak in the milk. That's what I would do.

SPEAKER_00 17:18

I there's part of it, it's like I kind of like the burn sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 17:21

I know you do. You've definitely let a couple burn before. No, but like not burn, but like a little over-golden.

SPEAKER_00 17:28

And then just keeps cooking. I like a slight burn sometimes.

SPEAKER_01 17:32

We know. Uh-huh. Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 17:35

Subway cookies.

SPEAKER_01 17:37

The best middle tier cookie. Or a fast food cookie.

SPEAKER_00 17:41

I'm gonna say the best fast food cookie.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

Oh my god. It's so high school for me.

SPEAKER_00 17:45

It is high school. Oh my god. I would say the easiest place to get a quick dozen cookies.

SPEAKER_01 17:50

Yeah. Oh, 100%.

SPEAKER_00 17:51

That are gonna satisfy an entire group of random people.

SPEAKER_01 17:53

Because they're nice and big. They have a nice ratio of chocolate. Softish. They're so good. They're softish, but a lot of the times they still have a little bit of crisp.

SPEAKER_00 18:00

They can hold together.

SPEAKER_01 18:01

Yeah, they're so good.

SPEAKER_00 18:02

They made a foot long one. I think that'd be fun to try.

SPEAKER_01 18:05

That'd be very silly. We can do that.

SPEAKER_00 18:07

It looks terrible though. Just like.

SPEAKER_01 18:09

That's like post-wedding.

SPEAKER_00 18:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 18:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:13

But uh Subway definitely cornered a market, which I'm surprised McDonald's didn't.

SPEAKER_01 18:19

Yeah, you would think McDonald's would sell a cookie. I think they do. Really?

SPEAKER_00 18:22

I think. I can't remember.

SPEAKER_01 18:23

I can't remember.

SPEAKER_00 18:24

I feel I just feel like I can imagine.

SPEAKER_01 18:26

I feel like that's something I would have tried.

SPEAKER_00 18:27

I feel like I can just imagine a McDonald's cookie, but I'm not sure.

SPEAKER_01 18:31

I I get what you're saying, but I don't think they do. I don't know. They've got the McFlurry.

SPEAKER_00 18:36

So good.

SPEAKER_01 18:37

Next topic Gingerbread men. Gingerbread men are so impressive. We made those for Christmas this year.

SPEAKER_00 18:42

They're fun.

SPEAKER_01 18:43

And they were really fun to make it.

SPEAKER_00 18:44

Fun to make, fun to decorate. And I really like gingerbread cookies.

SPEAKER_01 18:50

Yeah, ours were pretty good. I thought they were great. I thought they were great, but we didn't win the contest. So we entered a contest.

SPEAKER_00 18:57

Doesn't matter.

SPEAKER_01 18:58

A box cookie one over ours and that's bullshit.

SPEAKER_00 19:00

One of those random cookies that get softer as they age.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Which is really weird.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

I don't understand that.

SPEAKER_01 19:06

No, that's some weird science.

SPEAKER_00 19:07

That's some voodoo shit.

SPEAKER_01 19:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:10

But it's delicious, so I'm here for it. No, I like it. The whole process of gingerbread men's fun. What about a gingerbread house?

SPEAKER_00 19:17

Oh. That's a little architecturally hard.

SPEAKER_01 19:20

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:20

I just don't like it because you don't eat it.

SPEAKER_01 19:23

Yeah, it feels wasteful.

SPEAKER_00 19:24

It does feel wasteful.

SPEAKER_01 19:25

Where the gingerbread men you eat eventually.

SPEAKER_00 19:27

I almost feel like they should give you thinner walls. It would almost I feel like it'd be because it's lighter.

SPEAKER_01 19:32

It breaks easier.

SPEAKER_00 19:33

But lighter.

SPEAKER_01 19:35

Yeah, but it would be.

SPEAKER_00 19:36

I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 19:37

I don't know. Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 19:39

Black and white cookies.

SPEAKER_01 19:40

Delicious. Low key, so underrated.

SPEAKER_00 19:44

No, very underrated. The only cookie that can truly solve racism.

unknown 19:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 19:48

They really met in the middle. The best cookie.

SPEAKER_00 19:53

The best.

SPEAKER_01 19:54

It's a sugar cookie, too. Is it? I think it's a sugar cookie with frostic. It's really good.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

For some reason, it is in its own category of the case. It's a black and white cookie. Because you don't go, oh, I just had a sugar cookie for lunch. No, you'd go, I had a sugar, I don't think. No, a black you idiot. You're disproving my own point. Be on my team.

SPEAKER_01 20:12

I am on your team. I just misspoke. I'm sorry. Tongue twisted.

SPEAKER_00 20:15

Tongue twisted.

SPEAKER_01 20:15

Yeah, black and white cookies are amazing. I think that might be your favorite cookie. That's not like a store-bought cookie.

SPEAKER_00 20:25

Yeah. It's up there. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 20:26

Like you, you get that at a bakery if you're getting a cookie.

SPEAKER_00 20:29

If I have to get a cookie at a bakery, yes, I'll do black and white cookie, probably.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:34

Over a chocolate chip cookie for sure.

SPEAKER_01 20:35

Yeah. Yeah. Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 20:37

Protein cookies.

SPEAKER_01 20:38

No.

SPEAKER_00 20:39

Gross.

SPEAKER_01 20:40

I really want to do it because I'm on this like health kick part of the code. I've had a few.

SPEAKER_00 20:45

I just I feel gr I feel like I ate a brick after.

SPEAKER_01 20:48

Yeah, I feel really disgusting. It's just, yeah, it's nasty.

SPEAKER_00 20:52

Like I feel like a cookie is like not that it's just not that heavy.

SPEAKER_01 20:56

It's not that heavy. If you only have one. Sure. It's calorically dense.

SPEAKER_00 20:59

Still. Still.

SPEAKER_01 21:00

It's sugar high and all that. Whatever. It's a dessert.

SPEAKER_00 21:02

It's a dessert.

SPEAKER_01 21:03

But the protein protein.

SPEAKER_00 21:05

Oh, it just almost like when you put protein in your hand.

SPEAKER_01 21:08

It makes me feel like this. Like it's just like, oh, the fish feels heavy. It honestly it gives me a headache.

SPEAKER_00 21:15

Me too.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 21:16

I do not like protein cookies. Nope. Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 21:21

Vanilla wafers.

SPEAKER_01 21:23

Whoa, good throwback.

SPEAKER_00 21:25

Now we're talking a cookie island.

SPEAKER_01 21:26

Now that competes with Oreos for best in milk.

SPEAKER_00 21:30

That's a good point.

SPEAKER_01 21:31

They're delicious in milk.

SPEAKER_00 21:33

They and that you'll let them soak up milk too. You're like, I'll get it out with a spoon. I don't care if you're just gonna do it.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

I'll drink all my milk and then I'll get it at the end.

SPEAKER_00 21:40

That's a little gnarly text, really, but yeah, I know what you mean.

SPEAKER_01 21:43

It's yummy.

SPEAKER_00 21:44

I love a vanilla wafer.

SPEAKER_01 21:45

I do too.

SPEAKER_00 21:46

Actually, I'm sorry, vanilla wafer.

SPEAKER_01 21:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 21:49

Crazy spelling.

SPEAKER_01 21:50

Okay, wait, I have a topic. Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 21:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 21:53

The milk bar cookies.

SPEAKER_00 21:58

Um, I don't even I don't know.

SPEAKER_01 22:00

You don't even remember? We got them and you hated them.

SPEAKER_00 22:03

Oh.

SPEAKER_01 22:04

The corn one and the compost one.

SPEAKER_00 22:06

I was okay with the corn.

SPEAKER_01 22:08

The corn was the best one, but they were all so mid.

SPEAKER_00 22:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:12

I feel like they got so overhyped.

SPEAKER_00 22:15

I think it's really hard for you. I don't know why it's really hard to find a just quality, decent cookie.

SPEAKER_01 22:22

Well, she made the I think all those flavors of her cookies are really nuanced. And the way they advertise them is like they're really bold. And I think that's the wrong way of going about it. Like she's got like a cookie cake flavored one, and it's barely cake flavored.

SPEAKER_00 22:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:39

Like fun fetty. And I'm like, it's fetty, I guess. Not too fun. And the corn one's okay.

unknown 22:47

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 22:47

I think her series.

SPEAKER_00 22:48

So you just wanted to hate on milk bar.

SPEAKER_01 22:50

Well, I remember I remembered you hated them.

SPEAKER_00 22:54

The corn was fine. Alright. We can do we can hate on it. Fuck you, milk bar. You suck.

SPEAKER_01 23:00

Milk bar and the other one.

SPEAKER_00 23:02

Crumble. Crumble.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

See, I can do it.

SPEAKER_00 23:04

You never even had it though, so you really don't know.

SPEAKER_01 23:06

Hey! Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 23:10

Ice cream cookie sandwich.

SPEAKER_01 23:13

I have a weird take. I think it's too much ice cream, hurts my teeth.

SPEAKER_00 23:17

I think it's too much cookie as well. I think the cookies are too thick.

SPEAKER_01 23:21

Yeah, it's on the thing.

SPEAKER_00 23:22

And they're cold and it's hurts your teeth. It hurts your teeth.

SPEAKER_01 23:25

Yeah. I don't know if I have sensitive teeth or what, but yeah, they hurt my teeth too much.

SPEAKER_00 23:29

No, yeah, it's definitely a painful process.

SPEAKER_01 23:32

Yeah, I don't like them.

SPEAKER_00 23:33

Yeah, I don't like them either. I don't know, I don't know anyone that's like, that's great.

SPEAKER_01 23:36

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 23:37

I think you have it until you're 12 and then you're like, I don't need that. That sucks. Yeah. I just like it.

SPEAKER_01 23:43

It's almost like foamy too, that cookie.

SPEAKER_00 23:46

Like it's like they shot air through it. I don't agree with you on that. I wish it was foamy.

SPEAKER_01 23:51

Alright, we're gonna go get one. Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 23:56

Cookie candles and air freshener. No. Terrible. I don't want it.

SPEAKER_01 24:00

It's amazing. I don't want it to smell like cookie in here, like artificial cookie too.

SPEAKER_00 24:05

No, the artificial cookie smell is nothing like cookies.

SPEAKER_01 24:08

No, it's gross. It smells awesome. Just make cookies. Just make cookies.

SPEAKER_00 24:12

Yeah. Like literally, just make cookies.

SPEAKER_01 24:14

It'll smell great.

SPEAKER_00 24:15

What do we not do a candy? Cookie candles make me viciously. I hate them.

SPEAKER_01 24:20

Yeah, they're gross.

SPEAKER_00 24:21

They set me to my core. Agreed. I'm fine with candles. I like candles. Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Not cookie.

SPEAKER_01 24:28

No, it's the most disgusting.

SPEAKER_00 24:29

It is so bad.

SPEAKER_01 24:30

Agreed. 1000%. Stop making them. Cancel them. Cancel them. Ban them. Alright. Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 24:39

While we're on the topic of terrible things, what is the worst cookie, in your opinion?

SPEAKER_01 24:46

The worst, in my opinion.

SPEAKER_00 24:48

Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 24:50

Oh.

SPEAKER_00 24:52

It's a hard question.

SPEAKER_01 24:54

Yeah, because I like them all at the end of the day.

SPEAKER_00 24:56

You really do.

SPEAKER_01 24:59

Like even the ones I'm hating on, I'll still take it down.

SPEAKER_00 25:02

You'll still take it down.

SPEAKER_01 25:02

I'll still eat it. I'm a poser. I like them all.

SPEAKER_00 25:05

Uh-huh.

SPEAKER_01 25:06

Um, weirdly, and I don't even hate this one, like, to be honest. But I keep thinking there's one that's like a wafer cookie, and it's pink. And it's like a icing in the middle.

SPEAKER_00 25:18

I love those. See, they're all good. That's devastating to me. That was one of my favorite. I used to steal them at the grocery store when I was a little kid because my parents told me they were free. They used to be in like the dread aisle. That's so good. And then one day they were like, you can't eat those. I think I got in trouble. I don't remember. Like with the case. Like walking around the store eating them. Yeah, literally.

SPEAKER_01 25:37

That's crazy.

SPEAKER_00 25:38

Those are so oh my god.

SPEAKER_01 25:39

See, that's what I'm saying. They are so good. But I that's the only thing I'm thinking of is something I don't like, but I do like them.

SPEAKER_00 25:45

I mean, we could say chocolate on chocolate cookie.

SPEAKER_01 25:48

Yeah, I guess that.

SPEAKER_00 25:49

I've never liked one really. No. I don't think I've ever been like, oh, this is really good.

SPEAKER_01 25:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

Uh yeah, cookies are hard. They're kind of so good.

SPEAKER_01 25:58

Yeah, I agree. To get one that you like truly or like truly or like, ew, I never get this again. Animal crackers are delicious.

SPEAKER_00 26:06

Animal crackers are a banger. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 26:10

No, they're all so good.

SPEAKER_00 26:12

I keep wanting to say a fudge wheel, but I could like a fudge wheel.

SPEAKER_01 26:14

Yeah, I do too. No, they're all really good. I'm trying to think of like, there's gotta be a weird one that I just wouldn't.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

Comment below your weird cookie you hate.

SPEAKER_01 26:21

What's your weird cookie you hate?

SPEAKER_00 26:23

Like, I love Mexican wedding cookies. But I feel like those could be bad.

SPEAKER_01 26:27

Could be just a bad bad.

SPEAKER_00 26:27

But I've never had a bad one. So I can't even say that.

SPEAKER_01 26:30

I don't think I've really had one. That's it.

SPEAKER_00 26:33

Yep.

SPEAKER_01 26:35

Next topic.

SPEAKER_00 26:37

Best cookie in LA.

SPEAKER_01 26:40

Oh, best cookie in LA for me.

SPEAKER_00 26:43

Give me like three. I don't want just one. I know what you're gonna go with with one. Yeah. I want to hear your three.

SPEAKER_01 26:48

Okay, I got you. Um, first is we.

SPEAKER_00 26:52

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 26:52

I'm gonna blow up the spot.

SPEAKER_00 26:53

Melrose cookie.

SPEAKER_01 26:54

Melrose, it's a little it's a restaurant, but they sell cookies. I think it's Greek restaurant.

SPEAKER_00 26:59

Yeah, it's something like that.

SPEAKER_01 27:01

Something like that. Um, but they sell the best chocolate chip sea salt cookies.

SPEAKER_00 27:06

Could be a French restaurant.

SPEAKER_01 27:08

Might be a French, but they sell a lot of like But it is we in France. I know. Okay. Anyways. Um, second, Bristol Farms.

SPEAKER_00 27:17

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:18

Love.

SPEAKER_00 27:18

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 27:19

Um, and third. I almost want to say Aaron McKenna.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

That's allowed.

SPEAKER_01 27:29

That bakery in Larchmont. They've got a crazy, like giant they have a good black and white, they have a good, like that weird. It's a great bakery.

SPEAKER_00 27:38

I mean, Larchmont and bakery goes hand in hand.

SPEAKER_01 27:40

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:40

So that's your top three.

SPEAKER_01 27:41

I think that's gonna be my top three. I almost honorary mention Lavon.

SPEAKER_00 27:46

Honorary mention Lavon, I don't like theirs. I think they're raw in the center.

SPEAKER_01 27:51

Sometimes I like it. Go yours. You would. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:54

I'm just gonna agree with you. I'm not enough of a that was a good pick. Oh, yeah, I'll just agree. I don't have enough cookie opinion to put my hat in this ring.

SPEAKER_01 28:02

Okay, yeah, wait. So that's my good, like, high. Next topic, my good same topic. Okay. Like low work grocery store. No, nothing.

SPEAKER_00 28:14

Next top, that's grocery store cookie. Yeah, but okay, yeah. Next topic, grocery store cookie. You're stealing my topics, lady. Let me do my part of the job.

SPEAKER_01 28:21

No, I'm excited. It's my favorite topic.

SPEAKER_00 28:23

Okay, that's grocery store cookie.

SPEAKER_01 28:26

Tates.

SPEAKER_00 28:29

If you're going chocolate chip straight up, I'll agree.

SPEAKER_01 28:33

Tates. Tates.

SPEAKER_00 28:35

Okay. Top three.

SPEAKER_01 28:37

Oreos.

SPEAKER_00 28:38

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 28:39

Milanos. Which we didn't even talk about.

SPEAKER_00 28:43

Because they're not worth talking about.

SPEAKER_01 28:44

I love them!

SPEAKER_00 28:45

I don't.

SPEAKER_01 28:46

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:47

That's a sandwich cookie. You have two sandwich cookies.

SPEAKER_01 28:51

Whatever.

SPEAKER_00 28:52

I'm just saying. I'll go Oreos, just number one cookie.

SPEAKER_01 28:56

Okay. Then. No, you gotta pick three.

SPEAKER_00 28:59

Tate's. I'll agree. That's a very good quality cookie. I like how crispy and crunchy and delicious they are. Yeah. And then third, I'm gonna go to my Nilas.

SPEAKER_01 29:13

Great. I'm gonna actually go back on what I said about Milanos and I'm gonna take them out. And I'm gonna put in freezer aisle toll house.

SPEAKER_00 29:22

Oh, that's a good answer. Yeah. I like it.

SPEAKER_01 29:25

Yeah. Alright. Last topic.

SPEAKER_00 29:31

Best favorite cookie, hands tap.

SPEAKER_01 29:35

Just type or place.

SPEAKER_00 29:37

Type.

SPEAKER_01 29:37

Chocolate chip. I am a ride or die. Sea salt? With some sea salt on top.

SPEAKER_00 29:41

Sea salt, chocolate chip cookie.

SPEAKER_01 29:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:44

Big chunk, little chunk.

SPEAKER_01 29:45

Big chunk.

SPEAKER_00 29:45

Big how big.

SPEAKER_01 29:47

My mom made chocolate chip cookies all the time growing up. So for me, it's like this nostalgic hit. It's my favorite. It will forever be my favorite. I love chocolate chip cookies, and I will till I die. So um I like a heavy chunk chocolate, medium-sized cookie. Brown sugar in the mix.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

How thick?

SPEAKER_01 30:09

Probably like, I don't know, how thick is that? Half an inch?

SPEAKER_00 30:12

Yeah, that's half an inch. A little less. A little under half an inch.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

Not too thick. Not too thin. How wide? I don't know. Medium size. Not whoa, no.

SPEAKER_00 30:20

Say when?

SPEAKER_01 30:21

When? Smaller. There. Okay. Medium. What about you?

SPEAKER_00 30:29

Girl Scout Caramel Delight.

SPEAKER_01 30:31

Yeah, that's good too.

SPEAKER_00 30:33

That the amount of things.

SPEAKER_01 30:34

Diabolical, we haven't had those.

SPEAKER_00 30:36

The amount of those I've eaten in my life. Yeah. There's no way I can't.

SPEAKER_01 30:39

I would put back six or seven boxes a year myself.

SPEAKER_00 30:44

I mean Oreos though, I think that's probably the cookie I've eaten the most of.

SPEAKER_01 30:49

But we didn't say what have you eaten the most of.

SPEAKER_00 30:52

What have you eaten the most? You've eaten the most chocolate chip cookies. I've eaten the most Oreos for sure. But I think the best cookie.

SPEAKER_01 30:58

Best cookie, caramel. It's so balanced. It's yeah, it's just perfect. Coconut, chocolate, caramel. It's perfect. Boom. No edits.

SPEAKER_00 31:05

No edits. Take notes, crumble. That's how it's done. You can do a lot in a little at once, bitch it.

SPEAKER_01 31:11

Um all right. Well, that's our episode. That was the cooking episode. Comment below. Let us know if you're liking all the food topics or if you want to hear something else next week. Comment, subscribe, rate, review, hate, mail, hate, call.

SPEAKER_00 31:27

Hello?

SPEAKER_01 31:28

Goodbye.

SPEAKER_00 31:29

They hate us.