Ep-71: The Burger Episode | 20 Topics in 20 Minutes

Welcome back, Demon Babies! This week your hosts are talking everything burgers. Where they came from, the best toppings, the worst toppings, different styles, and where you should actually be ordering them. From classic cheeseburgers to over-the-top creations, we’re breaking down what makes a burger hit and what completely misses the point. And yes… all in 20 topics in 20 minutes.

Burgers sound simple, but they’re not. There are strong opinions, unspoken rules, and a lot of people doing way too much. We get into smash burgers vs thick patties, topping loyalty, bun choices, and the difference between a good burger and one that’s just expensive.

Expect hot takes, burger rankings, food debates, and a full breakdown of what makes a burger elite and what should never be ordered again. We check in, then get straight into the food.

Listen for:

🍔 Best and worst burger toppings

🍔 Smash burger vs thick patty debate

🍔 Bun choices and what actually works

🍔 Classic burgers vs overcomplicated ones

🍔 The fastest, funniest, most chaotic 20 minutes of your week

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New episodes every week. Burgers not guaranteed.

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Transcript

0:00

Welcome to another episode of the Demon Babie podcast, I'm Demon of Hollywood, aka Joey Lombardo, but today you can call me Sir Mix a Lot, cause if you don't got buns, I don't want none. And I'm sitting here with my co host, my best friend, my roommate, my fiancé, my blond burger Babie. Hello. Hello. Welcome to the show. Welcome to the show, Sir Mix A Lot. No, you don't have to call me that. All right, but I am blond Burger Babie 100%. Mm hmm. Also known as Emma Nilsson, but you don't have to call me that. blond Burger Babie. blond Burger Babie only. Triple B. B B B. B. Love it. Ba ba ba. Nice. Nice. Uh, well today's gonna be The burger episode! Yes, it is. And what's the podcast called? The Burger Episode. Demon Babie. Podcast. Podcast. Incorporated. Where we talk about 20 topics in 20 minutes. Yes. We're 20 topics today. Yep. That's, that's the show. That's the show. Let's get into it. And it's tradition around here before the episode really gets into second gear. Into drive. Oh, are we in a neutral state? We're, we're in an automatic. We're not in a manual. Okay. So where are we? Are we parked? We're driving. Okay. Wait. Oh, okay, I guess we're in second gear. Or are we in third gear? We're in first gear. Shit. We gotta warm up. I don't know how to drive a Yeah, you're fucked. Actually, I do, but I don't think It's not sounding good. It's I wouldn't suggest it. I wouldn't suggest it either. If the car crashes It's obvious. Sorry. Oh, well, we like to do a little check in. How are you? Um, great, how are you? Good, well, we were just in Seattle. Yeah, we just asked our last person to be a member of our bridal party, which was pretty sick. Little boom boom. Little boom boom. Soyoung and Dongho, boom boom. And Matt. Little Matt side action there. Little side piece. He already knew. Yeah. He is a side piece, though. He got his little side piece. Got his little side piece. Yeah, had a little sushi. Talked about it on Sushi Up. We did it. Accomplished it. Great fish, great oysters. Great oysters in Seattle. Best oysters I've ever had. Seattle has great oysters. Everyone kept telling us about the Seattle Dog, but we couldn't find a Seattle Dog. Yeah, so I need someone to hop in the comments and let us know where the fuck they're getting their Seattle Dogs. Cause we didn't find a Seattle Dog. I didn't see one. We tried. Dive bars, we were told we would have them, didn't see them. Didn't see them. I would have loved a Seattle Dog. Would have been great. Even though they said cream cheese, jalapeno, and grilled onions, I think? Yeah, it grossed me out, but that wasn't the point. Maybe the cream cheese works though! We didn't get to try. Cause I'm not against mayo on a hot dog. That would've been a great thing for Demon Babie Tries. Put it on the pod. Put it on the pod. Put it on YouTube. So yeah. But, it's not a hot dog episode. It's a burger episode. So let's get into our first topic! Thank you. You're welcome. Single vs. Double. So, I used to be a huge double double girl and, um, obviously, double D's for me. Double D's for double You're a double D. For double burgers. Yeah, you choose double D a lot. I do. I love I do. I love to double up. Mm. But like, I'm big and juicy. Yep. Big, big and bouncy. I don't know. Wow. I think you're talking about something else., I think. What was the topic?. I'm getting distracted here. Welcome to the episode.. Uh, no. But now I'm kind of a single gal. I've been rocking it with singles lately. Single tastes a little less greasy and fatty after. Yeah. You feel better about yourself after I, there's days I'm like, I just want two singles, not a double. Why? Do you feel better after? I feel more full and satiated. But you got a lot more other food. But I got a lot more other food. I don't know what's better. Probably just the doubles better. I don't know. A double is delicious, but it just is really heavy. It is heavy. Uh, but there's certain places like In N Out where you gotta go double. Oh, you gotta go double, double, I don't know, style, extra grilled onions, you know, maybe some hot chili peppers, you know, you got to do all the extras. We'll get in there. Well, that's a different thing. I'm just saying, you know, you let it roll. Yeah, the double double roll off the tongue. You're getting a single at some place. They really like a crime. They really coined the word double double double double because you just I mean mcdonald's has a big double Doesn't roll off the tongue. I'm never going anywhere being like i'm a big double gal That's weird, that's not you no, it's a different gal Next topic! Cheeseburger vs. hamburger I'm a cheeseburger all day. Yeah, I'm a heavy cheeseburger. You need that That fattiness and creaminess of the cheese to balance it. It's lubricant, really. You need to lube it up so it just cram it down your throat. And it helps all the other condiments stick. Like it's a little bit of glue. Um, I would say no. I would say yes. I would disagree. Why? I would say condiments, no. Pickles? Yeah, that's what I mean. That's a topping, that's not a condiment. Condiment? Accoutrement. Accoutrement. Accoutrement? Okay. Now that, I can get behind. Okay. Is that French? Yeah. Ooh, ooh la la. Yeah. Oh la la. I live in France. I don't know what you're saying. Okay. Hit me. Next topic. Is a burger German or American? Because, if you go back, the Hamburg steak from Hamburg, Germany. And that evolved here, being put into a sandwich, and then being turned into a burger. Sounds like it's American. That Historically, it was made here, not there. Just because it has roots in Germany, it was made here. Like me! I got roots over in Europe, but I was made No. I said Europe. Did I say Germany? No, I was just checking in. Stick with me. I'm with ya. But you said like me. I'm part of the Reich or something? I don't know, I got nervous. I was gonna have to quit this podcast immediately. Next topic. I wasn't done. Okay. No, it's fine. Acceptable toppings are accoutrement on your burger. What are you allowing That's not the same topic. No, we move topics. I wasn't done, but, um, cancel that, we're moving on. Oh, I thought you could have You got the card, you're now in third gear. I'm in fifth. You are going. I'm in fifth, I'm zooming down the highway. Fifth gear. Fifth gear. Luffy. All right, go back. No. What else did you want to say? No, we're only moving forward. Acceptable toppings, or like you like to say, accoutrement. Mm hmm. What's the acceptable? Uh, like, pickles, lettuce, tomatoes, grilled onions, but not all on the same burger. What about a chopped chili? Okay. I don't really do chopped chili. That's not for you. That's not for me. But do you respect that game? But you respect the game. But okay. There's other accoutrements. If we're doing a grilled onion, I don't think I want tomato. That's a good, that's a good take. I like that. Grilled onion. Yes. With tomato though. No. Tomatoes for like a bright, fresh burger. Grilled onions for like a heavy, low, rich burger. But I would say I'll allow it if it's a big. Thick burger, but not a smash burger. A tomato? I don't like tomato on a smash burger. I love a tomato on a big burger. Okay, so let's say a smash burger gets grilled onions almost exclusively, can have lettuce but it doesn't need it, can have mushrooms even. Okay, it can go that like really savory rich decadent route But then a thick burger needs to be bright fresh with lots of lettuce and tomato I think that's I think that I agree with that But I think the big burger still can't have grilled onion. I could even do chopped chili No, that needs like a fresh whole onion. I could say both You could, but I'm not. Glue your whole onion down with the grilled onion. Since we're gluing. Yeah, I love glue. What, what about bacon? That's some, some people bacon. Some people bacon. I don't really bacon. I don't get a peel of a bacon. I get it to a very salty, very fatty. You know what? I got to retry that. I've been really heavy into salt lately. You might think the bacon, bacon burger. I just got to get into bacon. Just in general. Yeah, more bacon in your life. Yeah, I want bacon. Your wedding diet is gonna love this. My wedding diet is down the drain. So this is my bacon diet, how I got ready for my wedding. My bridal bootcamp is bacon only. What else is there? There's more. Onion ring. Fried. Yeah. On a burger? Yeah. I've never heard of that. Double western bacon cheeseburger. Didn't even know. Yeah. I don't like it though because I don't like their sauce. It's a whole thing. It's too much. But I'm fine with the onion ring. I like an onion ring on a burger. Yeah. Brisket on a burger, I can get behind that. Okay. I've had pork on a burger. On, is that also on a beef bun? Yeah, we're talking heavy bite meat. Okay, we're like doubling up our meats now. Yeah, uh, coleslaw on a burger. I don't know. I love coleslaw. We're both rare people that like coleslaw. For me, no, I love coleslaw. For me, that's a fish sandwich. That's a fish or fried chicken. Fried sandwich. Fried sandwich, I want heavy slaw. True. Next topic! Best sauce. Thousand Islands. Thousand Island. I don't care. You're like 1, 000 islands on this burger. Yeah, 1, 000 islands is my favorite. I would say that's best. I almost can't have a burger without it. Yeah, you really love it. I love it. I want it and then I want extra for my french fries on the side. I'm not a big fan of mustard on a burger. I think it's unnecessary. I think it's very unnecessary. I think it's okay on that side. Thick, bright, fresh burger we're talking about. I can do a mustard then, but I really don't need it. Mustard is almost better just fried on a patty. I feel like you don't even taste it that much. I think people overhype the idea of mustard fried patties. But Yeah, I agree. I think it's fine. I think it's fine on a burger. I would say ketchup is insanely good on a burger. Yes. But It's one of the only places I like ketchup. Yeah, you're not a big ketchup girl. No. Mayo, good on a burger, especially the big juicy burger. Yes. Not a smash burger. I don't want mayo. No, smash burger gets a thousand island. Smash burger needs a thousand island, for sure. Um, other sauces, not really. Barbecue. People do barbecue. I can do that. A western bacon gets barbecue, I think. It does. Yeah. I don't like it traditionally, but I'm okay if it's a good barbecue sauce. Yeah, I think a lot of barbecue sauces are a miss though, so. It can't be too acidic. I'm going to veto in general. I need a sweet barbecue sauce for that. Yeah, totally agree. I like, ooh, we're just going to throw this into this part. A fried onion, like the really small crispy fried onions, those are great on a burger. Yeah, I agree with that. Not a big whole fried onion, a little crispy small fried onion. Yeah, like you would top like a casserole or something. Totally. Yum. Next topic. Next viral burger trend. What do you think? It's going to be a big fat burger. You think big fat burger? The pendulum swung so hard to the skinny burgers. It's got to swing back. It's got to go back. Especially like, I think, I think with the popularity of that burger from Petit Trois with the gravy, I think it's going to be a heavy sauce burger. Heavy sauce burger. I like it. Heavy sauce burger is a great hit. Yeah. I don't know if that will work for, Access, but I like it, and my pick is a Tempura burger. A deep fried? Deep fried burger. Beef patty? Yeah, with tempura flakes on it, crunchy. We should make that. Sounds delicious, because we had one on a stick at that Tempura place in Japan. Oh my god, that was so good. That's what I'm saying, that's my pick. I forgot about that. I'm saying this could be the next viral burger. We need to make this. We need to make this. Sweet, cut this out of the Cut this out, this is our billion dollar idea. Tempura burger is the next big burger. Oh my god, that would be so hot. Asian food's so poppin God, my bridal diet is down the tubes. And then you got the guy scraping his knife on the burger, showing you how crispy it is. Yeah. Oh, I love this idea. This wasn't even on my radar! I love it. And you ate it with me! It was so good. Love it. Yes. Next topic! Best fast food burger. Fast food only. Fast food only. In N Out. What's the order? Double double animal style extra grilled onions with um, french fries on the side. That was it. I started, I sang with as if I was going to add chopped chilies but I'm not. Yeah you're not, yeah. Double double animal style extra grilled onions. It's the way to get it. That's, that is my order. In N Out sponsor me. So I'm gonna probably go get one right after this is over. I'm gonna completely agree with you. I think that's the best burger fast food. Yes, but Since we agree, let's do our second option. Okay Second option. Runner up. Who's right behind that for you? Can you give me your runner up? I think If I want to go, yeah, I got it. The habit. Oh, wow. The habit. If you count that. The pineapple one? No. No, I don't, I don't think that one's good. I think their teriyaki sauce is bad. And I think that's the worst order at The Habit. Oh, wow. Um, The Habit's cheeseburger is really, really insanely good. And if you don't count that as fast food, Shake Shack's got a really good burger too. And if you don't count that as fast food, because I've never seen a drive thru Shake Shack because we're on the west coast. Yeah. I will go on McDonald's Big Mac because that Big Mac sauce drives me. Loco. Yeah, you go loco for that sauce. I'm a big sauce daddy. Yeah, you're a sauce daddy. I was really trying to stick in my mind to drive thru only. Yeah. And I never mess with Carls or Burger King. So for me, if I can't choose a secondary picket in and out, which I would, it would be like a Flying Dutchman single. That sounds great too. I would do a Single cheeseburger at McDonald's. What? Pickles? Pickles, ketchup. I would do however, like with the, I love the, I like all their onions and the lettuce, I would want all the toppings. Their little onions are so good. They're really good. I love those onions. I actually, I would do McDonald's. I haven't had McDonald's in a hundred and twenty five days. So I have a hot take. Okay. Next topic. I think the McDonald's Big Mac is overrated. The extra bun in there is a waste of space. I agree with you, but I don't agree with you at the same time. Why? Because when I'm having McDonald's, I'm not there for the meat. I'm there for the flavor. And you think that extra bun adds good flavor? I think it's in the way. I think it takes away from the flavor. Most people get a quarter pounder now. Big Mac is not the hot selling ticket for a lot of the big backs that eat McDonald's. Okay. But! I think you're, the quality of meat at McDonald's is not good. And I am not looking for more of that meaty flavor. I do think that bun in there is filling, good. And you're going to get full not for flavor. I'm going there for fullness, not protein. Okay. Quality. Their meat, if I, if there's more meat in there, I'm tasting too much of the McDonald's meat. Yeah. Okay. I see what you're saying. That's what I'm saying. All right. You said a single burger at McDonald's. You didn't say Mcdouble. I didn't. Or you want, why wouldn't you? I don't want more meat. Not from them. Next topic. Homemade burgers. Um, homemade burgers are so fun. It's one of my dad's specialties growing up. He loves to do a, like a normal size, not too thick, not too thin burgers. I like, like a quarter inch, quarter inch, quarter inch, quarter inch, half inch, normal size, normal buns. Huh? Lowry Salt. He's a big Lowry Salt. He's a big Lowry's guy, like I wouldn't be surprised if he was like secretly somehow sponsored by them. It's the way he seasoned everything growing up, but on his burgers, it's really good. That, American Slice of Cheese. At home, I almost like a provolone. That's it. I like a provolone slice at home. I get it, but for me, that's like my childhood. I get it. No, I totally get it. I'm not here to upset your childhood. That's it. Like, nothing else on it is what I would eat growing up. Now a homemade, I like how we do them. Smash. Smash. Grilled onion. Grilled onion. With the cheese on top to glue it together. Avocado. Avocado. Yeah. Thousand Island. Yeah. Maybe a little ketchup. Maybe a little ketchup, pickle. Heavy bite on the pickle. Heavy. That's my favorite. What about you? Homemade? Our homemade burgers are probably my favorite, but at the same time, we almost make them like a mid tier burger restaurant, so it almost doesn't feel that homemade sometimes, whereas though, if I was at like a person's house, like a barbecue cookout, yeah, if I'm at, if I'm at the cookout, I'm at the cookout. And they're making it and it's like a very normal burger, good burger. I like that energy, too. That's fine, doesn't hit for me. No, but I think there's something of like the lack of Salty. Why are they always unsalted and burnt? Cause we're not pro, we're not pros out here, we're just doing our best, you know, we're just having fun. We're not, we're not pros, it's just a competition, they're usually a little under salted or they're heavily over seasoned. Yeah. Yeah. Next topic. French fries, just in general. Oh, cause you can't have burgers without French fries. Yeah. Cause you can't have burgers without French fries. You can't talk about burgers. And not, you're not talking about french fries. Um, French fries are the thin cut jack to that Sally, you know, they're to two peas. Well, I don't know that term. Sally. To Jack. Jack Skelton. Sorry. Ah, I'm here for Christmas. We're talking about two pea and a pod. Got it. Sorry. Didn't know my reference was so off the beaten path here. Niche, uh,. Anyways, swish french fries, swish. French fries are delicious and I love them. I love a thin cut. I don't like a thick cut. I like steak fries. I want it thin. I want it tan. I want it pretty dark. Yeah, extra crispy. Extra crispy. Extra salty. I don't need extra salty. Too salty and I start feeling it on my tongue too much. If it's gritty, I love it. Dude, gritty. Sweet potato fries. I like sweet potato fries. Onion rings. I love onion rings. I think sweet potato fries are overrated now, but they might be healthier, now that I'm learning. Yeah, from everything I've learned, they're definitely healthier, but I think they need to be cooked longer. They always come out a little soggier than I want. Yeah, I think, I think it's an issue. I think there's, I've never had a crispier issue. There's an issue with the actual sweet potato, I don't think that's It's not really made to be a potato, but you know. Million dollar companies making them and they make them soggy, I don't think they would do that. Yeah, it's not their ideal way to make them. No. Next topic! What drink do you like with a burger? Lemonade. Pink lemonade. I'm a root beer guy. You are a root beer guy. Or a coke. Root beer, coke, lemonade, beer. Root beer, coke, lemonade, beer. Give me your top three at least. Lemonade, coke, root beer, margarita. I'm Burger and margarita. Yeah. I don't know when you've had that, but I like whatever energy you were spittin that day. That's a fun combo. Yeah, I've done that. It's still good. Rrr ta ta ta ta ta. Ah, da da da ta. This combo was probably shit faced. I needed a burger. Can I get a burger please? I need a booger what now? I like it. Yeah. Next topic! Best burger show. Burger Show. Media. Ooh, Burger Show. What is that one burger professor's name? George Motz. George Motz. Moat's or Mott's? I don't know. I like George Moat's burger. I'm upset we didn't get it when we were in New York last year. We totally forgot. Totally forgot. Totally spaced. I would love to see what his burger tastes like because he is the most invested Man of burger. Man of burger. He's the most knowledgeable burger man ever. Yeah, what about you? Burger shelf. Bob's burger. Ah, obviously Bob's burgers. Bob's burger huge. Yeah. Yeah Bob, okay, George Moat's, Bob's burgers. No offense to George. Bob's burger has done more for the burger than George. True. I mean, burger of the day. He changes his burger every day. I respect George as a man. But Bob Bob's been slaying the game for years. Yeah, he's been killing it. Keeping his family alive. Yeah, my man. Next topic. Other country burgers. Crazy. They're always They're so off. You're like, woah, woah. That's how you know it's really an American thing. It feels like you're dreaming. It feels like They don't know what a real burger tastes like, and they're doing a parody of a burger. It, it does feel like a parody of a burger. Like, are you mocking burger? What is happening? Like, why are you mocking burger? Whenever you go to a McDonald's in another country and you get just the normal burger. Little, strange. It's a, the flavor profiles are, like, this doesn't have our preservatives. Yeah, where are the preservatives? Where are all the additives? What? I feel like my body could digest this, what? But even if you go to like, TheFNDC. com Say it's just a cafe and you get a burger in another country. It tastes weird. Wonky. Yeah, I don't know what we're doing to our meat versus their meat, but it's wrong. I'm gonna have a little national pride USA has the best burgers. 100 percent hands down. Bam. Bam. Bam. USA takes the cake for best burger. Absolutely. 100% Hit me with the L! Last topic. There we are, I like making you do it. That was crazy, sorry. Last topic! Easy, easy, easy. Tier list. High end, middle, cheap. Okay. Best burger of each. Best burger of each. Okay. Okay, okay, okay. So, best high end burger. I ever had, I have two picks. Okay, I'm going to write mine down just for proof I'm not copying you. Okay, I've already, we've now already talked about both of my high end picks. The Katsu Burger in Japan, which was also not a real, traditional burger. Not really, and not something someone could easily get. No, not in America, but if you're in Japan, you could go to it, it's in Osaka. Even hard for us to find the restaurant. Was it in Kyoto? It was in Kyoto. There's a tempura place in Kyoto. Because we were staying at the General. Yeah, you're right. Okay, it was in Kyoto, it was delicious. Um, it was in Osaka. Might have been. I don't know. It doesn't matter. Tempura burger, and then for local LA, elite burger is the Big Mac at Petit Trois. That's what I wrote down. Petit Trois, the best high end burger in LA, in the world I would say. Yeah, it's really good. It's, So good, it's so fancy, but it still hits. It's yeah, it's expensive as fuck, but it's worth it with the sauce they do, and the bun quality, and just the whole vibe. All of it. It's like French onion soup and a burger, BAM! Yeah, if you can afford that like, I think it's like 40. I think it's literally 40. Yeah, you could have a feast of McDonald's. Yeah, but that's not what we're talking about. Some middle tier. Middle tier. Middle tier is where it gets really hard'cause there's so many, many options. So many. Especially in la. Yeah. You don't like it. I honestly do. Okay. Burgers? She wrote burgers. She wrote I do not, not like burgers. She wrote You don't like burgers? She You're refuse there to go there. I don't refuse to though. You think the patty is too big? It's a lot of patty. It's a lot of patty. It's a lot of patty. And it's too much fat you said?'cause it's, I like the owners. I would never say I don't like burgers. She wrote good. But. I'm going heavy handed for middle tier. Heavy handed. It was going to be my second option. Heavy handed is a great middle tier burger. Probably around 11. Yeah. Honorable mention. I have two. I have one. Chris Nettie's. Chris Nettie's is great. Almost even on the cheap end with how good their deals are. Honestly. Yeah. I would put it on. Maybe the best cheap. Best cheap. Cause I, ooh. Later. Um, the window's also really good. The window's really good, really reliable. Really solid. Really fast. Yeah. And I'm gonna go. And definitely middle tier. Cheap. I'm doing a whole bunch of those. Cheap. I gotta go in and out. I gotta go in and out. But, okay yeah, cheap. Chris Nettie's and In N Out. Yeah. Yeah. Boom. I agree. Local and a little bigger than local. Yeah. Slightly larger than local. Yep. Well, that's the Burgers Hoed. I'm starving talking about burgers. My stomach literally, I hope the mic picked it up. As we started talking about choices, my stomach was growling. I have not had a burger in a long time too, and I am salivating a burger right now. I want that pickle. So, that was the episode. We're gonna go get burgers. We gotta go get a burger. And, catch us on the next one. Like, subscribe, comment, leave a review, do whatever you wanna do. Do whatever you wanna do. And, come back next week. We're gonna talk about something else that we're gonna be craving after. We're gonna be killing your diets, our diets. We're getting big back summer. We're getting fat for summer. It's getting big back summer out here. I don't know what to tell you. Check it out. We're eating. We eating. That's demon Babie, Babie. Bye.