Ep 51: The Survival Episode!

Welcome back to Demon Babie — the show where Joey and Emma cover 20 topics in ~20 minutes and somehow make it make sense.

Today: SURVIVAL.

Are we prepared for the wilderness?

No.

Do we have thoughts?

Absolutely.

Let’s talk survival TV culture, “I could totally live in the woods” delusion, and the reality that we would be immediately eaten by a bear.

Episode 51 starts now. 🌲💀

#DemonBabie #DemonBabiePodcast #ComedyPodcast #StorytimePodcast #PodcastStories #FunnyStories #MillennialStories #aloneonhistory #nakedandafraid #survivalskills #outdoorlife #bushcraft #campinglife #thewoodsaremoving #leaveusintheforest 

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Transcript

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Welcome to the Demon Babie podcast. This is the podcast where we do 20 topics in 20 minutes. And today we might've, we should have been naked and afraid. Cause today's episode is the survival episode. And I'm sitting here with my wild animal guest. Blonde Babie. Try and catch me. You will not be domesticated. I'm an outside cat. Meow. Surviving. Surviving. Thriving. Whoa. Maybe. Well, welcome to the show. Welcome to the show. How've you been? Good. I was gonna say the first thing we survived was Hallo weekend being two weekends. Put together. Surviving Halloweekend in LA is a mission in itself. LA is one of the best Halloween cities in the world I'll say. I would say second to Japan, but although we haven't experienced it. I'll say Japan, New York, LA. Yeah. Maybe Mexico City would probably be the top. Yeah. Contenders. Agreed. But yeah, LA was crazy There were some great parties, some weird vibes. Some celebrities. Some celebrities. Mm hmm. Would you like to get into talking about Halloweekend at all? Yeah, cuz we survived it. We survived it. So how was surviving Hallo weekend? Tough, cuz I got sick halfway through. And now I'm sick right now. Which sucks. Clean this mic. I wish I had. Spray me? Yeah. Mm hmm. If I had my hand sanitizer, I would have. We went to Amber Rose's birthday party. Birthday Halloween party. Halloween party. That was fun. Ray J was there. She's so nice. She is. Way nicer than I would have expected. I thought she was gonna be like, way posse ed out, way security. She had security, but not that much security. I thought she'd have way more and it'd be like more aggressively around her. But that wasn't the most shocking thing of the night. What was? The white people music. Yeah, what was that? It was like 2006 Garage band white boy music all night long. And they were screaming it. Oh my god, like the kill, like Mr. Brightside. I'm like I thought this was reserved for white weddings. Yeah, I didn't know that could be played at Amber's Halloween party. That was, that was, I was like, uh, not one rap song. I'm like, no, you have, you featured on, we are young. Yeah. I'm like, you were featured on like a Kid Cudi song. Like, what are we, what are we doing? That's, it was surprising. It was definitely, I think it was her guilty pleasures for sure. Hey, I like the music. Maybe she was cosplaying as a white girl. Maybe she was. Playing the music for us. She knew Demon Babie showed up. Yeah, she knew. She tailored it. She was like, I'm gonna scratch this itch. All right. Let's get into the show. First topic. Well, we were watching survival shows. So this is how we came up with the topic. And the survival show, I think the most famous survival show has to be Naked and Afraid. Not Survivor. That's not really a survivor show. Maybe, but I would say that's more of a game show. Cosplaying as a survival show? Yes. Yeah. I would say that. Okay. Where Naked and Afraid is crazy. I mean, when Naked and Afraid dropped, that was, everyone was like, what do you mean? They're just naked and out there? And that, yeah, they basically were just naked and out there. So you're on Naked and Afraid. Let's say Demon Babie Tries. Demon Babie Tries. Naked and Afraid edition. Me and you out there. Emma dies. No survival. How long do you think you could go? Well, genuinely. Well, wait, can we talk about the different terrains? They put them in the snow, they put them in the desert, they put them literally all over. So where are we getting dropped? I think we'll go Average rainforest. That's where people usually do okay. A lot of bugs. Do you remember the desert episode season though? That one was crazy. That one seemed tough. That one seemed tough. I think I would tap out of that one in a day. If I was in a rainforest, if I was in a rainforest, I think I could go maybe a week cause there's like stuff to make a shelter and a little bit of clothing. Cause I just know myself. I would need to make myself some clothing somehow. You'd cover up. I'd cover up. Would you? Yeah. You weren't covered up on Halloween. Well, enough. The bits were. The bits? The bits. What about you? How long do you think you could last? I think it really matters how I'm sleeping. I think, truly, it's kind of like how they're like, oh, sleep's, you know how they're always like, Oh, sleep's the most important thing for your health. I think that truly is what it would come down to because if I wasn't sleeping like At all? At all. Like I'm just too like freaked out stressed. You're going crazy. I'm losing my mind and then I'm just mentally going to. Sleep deprivation will kill you. Yeah, for sure. Sorry. But if I can get a fish or two once a week, I think I can go the full month. Yeah, I think I'd be a forager. I don't think I'd be good at hunting, so I don't think I could last a month. I think I'd got a week if I could find some fruit. Well, hit me with it. Next topic. Hottest survival technique. Is it hunting? Fishing? Shelter building, fire making, cooking. Shelter building. Hottest. You're like, he can build me a shelter. A home. A home. Yeah. You're off the streets. I'm off the streets. Yeah, I know. I'm homed. You're still on the streets. Um, no, I think it's probably hunting. It's the most useful. You think that over fire building? Fire making? Mmm, that was my thought. I think shelter building is very I mean, what? Yeah. Hot. What do you think? I think the best one shelter building. Cause if you can stay dry and warm, you're good. That's true. That'll help your sleep. It's amazing how water is essential for life yet. It will ruin everything at the same time ever. It's good and bad. What about you? What's hottest? Maybe hunting.'cause that'd be the hardest one for me to do. Yeah. I don't like killing mammals. It's tough. Yeah. The skinning, the draining the blood thing. I don't, I could do just a mammal's life is hard for me. Yeah. Because I'm a soy mam boy. Beta cuck pussy boy. Yeah. Heavy on that. Yeah. Heavy on that. Yeah. Heavy on that. Yeah. Was crazy. Soy boy. Beta cuck. Cannot skin an animal. I can skin an animal. Once it's dead, I'm fine. Feels bad, though. No, I could skin it fine, I think. Do you think you would feel okay, more okay about it, though, because you need it for survival? Or do you feel bad because you're on a game show? I'm sure something activates. And then afterwards you kind of have a post nut clarity of damn I did this for a game show like this guy was just living out here. Yeah and I killed him. A fish though, I'll take a fish out. Fish don't got brain. Fish got no brain. Fish don't feel pain. Fish stupid. I don't fucking care about a fish. I'll kill any fish. You fuck with fish? Me and a fish in a cage? What about a bird? I think you're not getting any birds. I think birds are too hard to get. I think birds are too hard to get. I wouldn't even attempt. I think people waste their time trying to get birds. Not a lot of meat on a bird either. No. About the same as a fish, I'd say. It's like knowing bird law. You can't catch a bird. You can't, I mean bird law is very important when it comes to jungle politics. Yeah. Yeah, don't, don't fuck with the birds. Bird law. Next topic. What are you willing to eat? Fish. Fish. Okay. Fish. Um, plants. Like would, you'd obviously do research? I would do research. I would learn what plants are edible. Bugs. Would you eat bugs? I probably would. Honestly, if I'm on a survival show, I need to survive. I probably would. I mean, I've eaten crickets. Yeah. Chapollines Chapollines. Yeah, I would probably do that. Maybe ants not happily, but I might, ants would be pretty tough, but I would, I mean, if I'm hungry, but if I got fire and I got a little stove thing, I might You cook'em up a little. Yeah. Well the problem is you don't have salt. Yeah. You don't realize that. Yeah. Unless you sea water, but you don't realize how hungry you are, it doesn't matter. True. What about you? What would you eat? I would eat, I think, everything. Even if I did end up killing an animal. Like a mammal, like a deer, or something. Oh, I was thinking what I could achieve. Like, I don't think I would achieve an animal. Would you eat a snake? Yeah, I mean, hopefully I don't encounter one, though. Snakes really scare me. I feel like they're easy to kill, though. I don't know, I feel like I would die. You would probably die. It would either bite me or strangle me, and I would die. Would you rather be bitten or strangled? I would be strangled. Well, I know, strangled. Jesus Christ, um, probably. I don't know, you poison yourself quite often, too. You might be immune with these drinking. Yeah, my tolerance level might be through the roof, honestly. Through the roof on that one. Yeah. Yeah, I think I'd eat anything. Do you think you could achieve that, though? You think you would be able to kill a mammal? No. Yeah, see? So what do you realistically think you'd be eating? Fish, snake, reptiles. Fish, Birds, Birds? We just said you wouldn't kill the birds. No, if I got, if I hit one with a stick though, I think I can hit one with a stick. With a stick, not a rock? Easy, die. Die easy, bird. Oh my god. Small bone, hollow bone, die easy. No. Okay, next topic. What would your survival outfit be? Oh, it's not this. What do you mean? A one, a one piece? A a thin exercise jacket, a onesie and a crop. Puffer layers are very important. Uh, no. There's a season of spoiler. Season of, no, it's not naked and afraid. It's outlast Australia. Okay. And the lady that brings the, the fur coat she made. I would want a fur coat. Fur coat. Wow, bougie. I like it. Yeah, because it keeps you so warm. I'd want a moose knuckle jacket. Moose knuckle. What does that mean? Very. Oh, like the brand? Yeah. Oh, like not Moncler, moose knuckle. Yes. Okay, nice. Yeah, that was an industrial jacket. But now that you're doing that, you're going to look so much better than on TV. so cool. Yeah. That's kind of upsetting. What kind of fur would you wear? I would probably get like an arctic fox or something to go with my arctic heritage are Swedish Arctic you guys are in Arctic Circle, right? Oh, my grandma was a Swedish Eskimo, so I would say so Eskimo But we're not No, you're not that's actually offensive Next topic Is a survival show just the ultimate weight loss show? Yes. Would you go on for the weight loss? Starvation Nation? No. I can starve myself on my own. She would not. Not for the weight loss. It's amazing how much weight they lose though. Yeah. It's funny how unhealthy they look though, you know? It's not healthy to lose weight that way. Obviously, it's not healthy to lose weight that way. Starvation? Yeah, not the best. Not a cool tactic. But it's, it's shocking. Yeah. I think survivor. I think you would have a hard time because you're such a lean guy. I try to build up. I need a lot of peanut butter before I go on. Would you? Yeah. You'd do a bulking season? I do. But if I was actually going to like take a swing at it. And like really try and outlast everyone? And win, yeah. I'd bulk up. I'd get chunky. I think you'd have to. Yeah. I wonder if I'd hold it easy. No, I don't think you would cause you have too quick of a metabolism. It would immediately burn it, I think. I think you've got like a week of holding onto your bulk and then it'd be pretty much gone. Okay. All right. Next topic. How long do you think each other would last? Okay. Actually before this topic, I have a question. What do you think of like, The shows that are naked and afraid where they give them nothing versus extracted, which we just watched, where they're constantly giving them like supply drops. I mean, I like the dichotomy of both. I think, you know, I think the supply drops and stuff make it more doable, obviously. Yeah. More because none of those people were survivalists where naked and afraid. They're all survivalists. Or they like take a couple of things, but they don't get drops after that. Yeah. Yeah. So that I'm, it's obviously way more impressive, but I think the drama and like the TV making of the drops and like, Oh, they might get stuff. They might not. I think that's maybe a better show. Honestly, it kept me more engaged. It kept me way more engaged. So I think that's a better show to watch way more impressive when it's just them doing their best. Yeah. What they make, what they kill, what they do. Yeah. Yeah. So I think I would do better on extracted. Okay. With drops. And without drops, what is your day count, you think? With drops, I think I could go two weeks. Mmm, okay. Without drops, I think I got like four days. I think with drops, you have a week. Without drops, you have two days. I think with how much I've been running training for the marathon, I have a new level of psychosis and insanity. Yeah. I'm a new level of crazy. So I think just mentally I'm strong enough to go for a long time because they're not on extracted for more than two weeks. So I think I could do that for a quarter of a million dollars. Yeah. With drops. Okay, but without it, I think I got like three days. I don't know. You're not good with being hungry. Listen, that's very hungry. You're out. Well, for what do you think about me though? I think With drops, you've got a month without drops two to three weeks. Okay. I would agree. I think I got a month with jobs three weeks without, I think you could do extracted. No problem. I think as long as no one pulls you out. Yes. As long as no one pulls me. And you don't drink unboiled water. Yes. And I don't make myself stick. Okay. Well, speaking of extracted, hit me. Next topic. Extracted style. Who are your two family members you're picking to be extracted? In your boxing ring, basically, in the warehouse, fighting for you, trying to get you supplies and all that. Also, if you're watching this episode, watch Extracted. Great show. Great show. And you'll understand what we're talking about. Way better. So who are your two family members and why? I would pick, I was gonna say you and Chanel But I'm gonna take that back and say you and my dad Oh, I think your dad's extracting you fast. Really? He doesn't want to see his little girl go through it But I grew up camping with him So I think he would know what I needed and what I was good at. Okay. So I think he would be helpful All right, me and your dad. Yeah. What a bonding moment that would be for us. That would be, I mean you guys are close already So it'd be fine. But who would you pick? I would pick you. You're just saying that to butter me up. Yeah, I'm trying to make out with you after this episode. Uh, I'm just trying to butter you up. Uh, I would pick you and my older sister because she's mentally insane. She would never extract you. She would never extract me. And she wouldn't let me extract you. But you would also calm her down, I think. She might want to extract me. She would do something crazy to pit us against the other families. She would start drama with the other family. She'd be like, Fuck you, my brother's getting that sandwich! He needs the sandwich, he hasn't had one in days! I'd be like, no, Chanel, we can get him a sleeping bag. She'd be like, he's getting both! We're not stopping, she'd be good at the negotiations. That's what I would need. Maybe I wouldn't choose my dad, maybe I would stick with Chanel. My dad wouldn't be so good at the negotiations. He'd be like, alright, I guess she doesn't get a box, she'll be alright. Ugh. Damn, she'll be alright. He's soft. Nice guy, too nice. Next topic. What amount of prize money to do 30 days in the wild? 30 days? 30 days. Let's do a with drop and without drop. With drop? I would do it for 150. 150k? Yeah, without drop. So that's less than extracted. I know. So you'd go down and extract it. You Yeah, I'd go on Extracted. It's half the time and double the money, basically. Wow. Yeah, I would do it. But with Drop, I would need like, or without Drop, I mean, sorry, I'd need like 300, 000 because I would do so bad. 300, 000 and you think that would be enough money to like motivate you to do it? 500, 000. Yeah. No, 300, 000 would do it. 300, 000 is an insane amount of money. Yeah, 300, 000 is a lot, but after taxes. What is it? Like 180, 000? I'd still do it. It's probably, yeah, like 180. Yeah, I'd still do it. Okay, 180. What about you? I think 150 with drops 200 without. Really? Yeah. 200, not even 250. No, I'd do it for 200, 000. That's a lot of money. Yeah, I'd appreciate that money for 30 days of work That's how I think of it, too. I just be like going to work today. Yep Yeah, literally gotta build a shed today. Let's go fishing My time card Next topic What celebrity would you want to be stranded with you? I Gotta think about it. What celebrity would you want to be stranded with you? Hmm? Feel like it really needs to be someone that you're not gonna strangle to death. I got it. Go. Bear Grylls. Okay Great choice. Thank you. Wow. How'd you think of that one? I don't know. How about a fun answer? Crazy pick. I thought that was a fun answer. How's that a fun answer? That's just an obvious answer. Okay. Who would you hang out with nature for 30 days? That I wouldn't want to strangle? I don't know, I gotta think again. Alright. Who would you? I think, you know what, I just, I didn't really think of an answer. I'm gonna pick Gordon Ramsay. Oh. I think he'd get me up and going, he'd be like, We should run today. Alright, mate, you gotta go. Going down to the creek? On the mushrooms. I'd be like, I salted them. Oh, that's a good answer. Yeah, I'll do Gordon. He's a very sporty guy, you know? He's a man's man. Yeah. I think. Yeah. Pretty sure he yells at all the people that come on his show fat. He's like, what are you doing? You fat fuck true He does like the fat shame. Yeah, he's a big fat shame. We could talk about that together I I just meant like he's a sporty guy. I would pick Gordon Ramsay though. That's my pick You always would pick Gordon for anything. Not true. Big big Gordon fan Not that huge of a Gordon fan girl. Wow. I mean my pussy quivers a little when I talk about it I'm sticking with Bear Grylls. All right Next topic or, sorry. Okay. You are in the warehouse. Your family member is in the wilderness. Who are you picking? I can't pick you. You can't pick me. Family. From my family. Immediate family. Oh, I would've picked Chanel, but for my family, I might pick my sister-in-law, Gabby. Really? She why? She's a big hiker. Ah. She's an outdoorsy girl. Okay, she likes to adventure and do it. I think she could get it done Although wait, you said immediate. I would I that's like just immediate. Okay, I guess we're not married yet. So yeah, exactly Okay. Yeah, I'd pick Gabby. I think she could do it. Okay, I think she's tough. Yeah, she's mentally tough. Hmm I'd pick my dad. I think he'd sleep a lot. Yeah, your dad would just make a fire You make a fire in a shelter and he'd sleep a lot Yeah, he'd try to get a fish. He'd try every now and then. Plus, I'd love to see him curse so much. I'd love to see that rage on TV. He would try to make a fire. He'd be like, fuck, fuck, piece of shit! Fucking fish. Stupid fucking fish. If he dropped a fish. Oh my god, that would be like The FCC wouldn't even let it be on air. F@#k!nG C#n# fish. I kind of think we need to nominate John for the show. Do you think, do you think he would, let's put the gorilla back in nature. Do you think he could do it? No. All right. Next topic. Yeah, he would. What would you cook out there? Fish. Fish. I would try and make soup. I think a lot. Cause I know. Out of a pot. What are you putting in your fish? Fish soup. Little herbs. And then you can sip on it too, and then you don't waste anything. That's what I always think. I'm like not wasting any. They waste a lot. A lot of them. They do waste a little more than I always think they're gonna Yeah. I, because a lot of them like think about catching the food, but not what to do once they've caught it. Yeah. They, well, I guess, yeah, they kind of under utilize everything they do. Yeah. I would not all of'em of'em do good preserving. I would look into preserving. I would bring a pot for sure. Yeah. What would your three items be? You bring next topic. What would your three items be? Um, one of those like fire starter things. So essential. Yeah. Um, I'd bring one of those. I'm going to agree with you on that. Yeah, I would bring that and not one. That's like a gas powered one. I would burn that out. Yeah. No, not a gas. It's gotta be one of those striker things. Yeah. Um, and then probably a pot and then a knife. I agree. I think that's a great choice. Thank you. I think that not enough people bring a pot. How are you drinking? Yeah, and then that's when they go and they drink For I think that three minutes three minutes not even that long But I think getting water boiling on those little fires is hard. Yeah, I think you know, I'm always surprised They don't make bigger fires. I'm like, I would have that fucking place burning to the ground. Yeah, it'd be like he was here Where is he? His camp just slowly starts growing because he's burnt the whole thing down. Yeah, he has a bonfire. It would look like a wildfire for sure. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. You wouldn't be cold. Wouldn't be cold. That's what I'm saying. And they're always like, I'm so cold. Keep throwing fucking wood on that fire. Get it going. They get lazy. They're not moving around. That's why I need Gordon out there. Yeah. Go get some firewood. You're wasting time. You're burning calories doing nothing. Next topic. What two foods would you crave out there? What would your two biggest cravings you think? Fried chicken and french fries. Fried chicken and french fries. Why do you look like you're sponsored by it? Cuz I am. I would, I'm gonna go hot coffee Cuz it's cold as fuck and I love coffee when I'm camping too. Yeah. And a cheeseburger. Good answers. I put those on my three and four spots. Okay, line it up! Uh, yeah, I can't imagine how good the food tastes when you come back from that though. I, that's why it's not a good weight loss show because then you'll binge eat when you come back and gain it all back in like three days. Well, you had a few good days probably in that grace period of coming back. And at least you were on camera for it. At least someone documented your skinniness. Yeah. Next topic! Uh, if me and you did Naked and Afraid, do you think we'd hook up? Or do you think survival would be too I think it'd be too gnarly. I think we would like the first day. I'd make a move. We know. I mean, we gotta cuddle naked. I'm making a move. Yeah, but I think after some point, like, you get over it. And survival takes over. That is my survival. We know. That's the show. That's the show? That's all our topics? Yeah. Well, you have a topic? No, I, I asked mine halfway through already. So. You don't have any others? Um, No, I think we really hit it. Survival shows are my favorite shows to watch. Have been for a long time. And I can't wait for the next season of Extracted. Drop it already. And if anyone recommends any survival shows, Please let us know. Yes, we will watch it. Yeah, I don't like Bear Grylls show though. No me either. I didn't watch it actually That's why it's funny. I picked him because I've never watched one of his shows. It's very staged feeling I think it is. I think it is. Yeah Now we're gonna climb this mountain and somehow all the ropes are already set up. Yeah, it's it's Yeah, not the coolest. Not the same. Well, that was our show though. That was the Demon Babie podcast. That was pretty good. Catch us next week. We'll be in Mexico, but we're still gonna drop an episode. So let us know what you want to hear. We'll already filmed it before you can comment. Bye!