Ep 41: Tanned, Drunk & Unsupervised: The Summer Episode

The sun’s out, the drinks are strong, and we’ve clearly been left without adult supervision. This week on Demon Babie, we’re serving up everything summer fun gone wild. From epic party fails and reckless vacations to tanning disasters and our wildest unfiltered couple stories, this episode is your ultimate guide to messy, chaotic, and unhinged summer vibes.

Grab a drink, turn up the heat, and join us for all the stories your parents probably wouldn’t approve of.

🎧 Listen on all podcast platforms and follow us on Instagram for more unfiltered summer mayhem.

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Transcript

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Welcome to another episode of The Demon Babie Podcast. I'm Joey Lombardo, AKA demon of Hollywood. I'm sitting here with slutty Summer blond Babie AKA, Emma Nilsson, and today is the summer episode. How are you doing, Emma? I'm doing great. How are you? Good. We're in the dog's day of summer. We are in the dog days of summer, for sure. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. It might almost be Indian summer and I'm pretty excited about it. That's my favorite time. I'm sorry, what did you just say? Indian summer? It's like, is that a slur? No, it's like when summer is more in fall. It's almost fall. Why is it called Indian Summer? I don't know. Maybe it is a slur and I just fucked up really bad. We apologize, but I think it's a complimentary thing. I'll apologize for whatever Emma just said. I'm pretty, it feels touchy. I'm pretty sure it's complimentary, but if I'm wrong, I'm sorry. I think it's supposed to be positive. Like second summer. Well shout out to Indians or Native American. Well, which ones are you even talking about? I just thought it was called Indian Summer and it was a positive thing. But you're making it weird. I've just never heard this before in my life. You're right. If you've never heard it, it's absolutely not true. True. Couldn't be a thing. Couldn't. No, I'm just saying I ever heard of it. All right. Well, I'm just, this is a summer episode, regardless. Ah, yes. Today's a summer episode, but it's not only just a summer episode because it's. To break down the fourth wall. My rat family found this podcast even though they were, Hey, hey, hey. Majorly blocked on all social media platforms we had any control over. So today's plan is to sweat them out, to turn up the heat to reclaim my title of Demon of Hollywood, oh, which they hate, which they hate. But I don't care. All right. We are gonna try and sweat them out, turn up the heat and give them a nice, give the people a nice, edgy, fun episode to listen to. Let's do it. So welcome to episode 41 41, the summer episode. First topic. Whoa, whoa, whoa. Too fast. Whoa, so fast. Slow it down a little. Yep. Whoa. Quick draw. McGraw. There's certain words we can't say on YouTube. Great. So please use the street nicknames just so you're up to date. Okay. I'll do my best. Now I feel like I don't know the street nicknames, so we're gonna really say good luck. Let's see your street talk. Street talk with Blond Babie Indian Summer. She's already killing it. Yeah, she's above me. All right, hit me with it now. First topic, best summer. DRUG. Oh, hmm. Hmm, hmm. Hmm. Unfortunate for the people who can't spell the toddlers and the dogs that are watching. Good. Yeah. I mean, they shouldn't be watching or listening anyways. Yeah. This is not, this is an adult program. Yeah. This is an 18 plus program. For me, it would be skiing. Whoa. But what about you? Where, where are you skiing? Everywhere. Yikes. Yikes. That's why it's for me. But summer specifically, see, I just don't, you're not doing it at the beach. I'm not doing much at the beach. Exactly. That's the thing. So I don't know what, what's your answer? Pool. Are you doing a rooftop pool? Probably. Mm. Probably doing that there. Mm-hmm. I would agree. It's not called swimming. It ain't called swimming. Uh, what about you? I would agree with you. You would agree, but I would say, say rooftop pool to combine with what you said. You need to com combine area. Location, location, location. It's only okay at Rooftop pool it's best. Mm. Um, but I would say the more popular one would be weed. And I don't know the sl, I can't behind it, can't behind that. But I think that it is like people smoke on the beach, they smoke at the pool, they smoke anywhere during the day. I understand the romanticizing that way. It's the romanticizing of it for sure. And you can sell me on the idea, but the practice, I can't get behind. Hear me out mushrooms in the park. Go for it. I think that would be a good summer one. I'm not gonna stop you. Yeah, go. Which park? Any park. Central Park. Central Park would be incredible. That'd probably be the best. That would be elite. But it's also the best park in the world, so, so I mean, why wouldn't you come combine? Yeah. I mean, I can't, I don't live there, but there you go. Well, you could always go back. Yeah, if I could go back, I'd totally do that. But yeah, I think those are probably like the top three. Summer. Yeah. That makes sense. DRUGS. Yeah, that makes sense. Next topic. I stuttered on that one. To go parallel with that. Best summer drink. I already have my answer. Okay, go. Body shots. Body shots. You don't really do those any At the pool. At the beach. At the beach. Anytime of day. Anytime. Are you gonna get sand in your belly button If you don't it at the beach, you're gonna get sand in your belly button anyway, but you're gonna get sand in your shot if you do it at the beach. True. Um, I think body shots are the best summer drink because you don't really, there's no other time of year. Worldwide summer, you can do a body shot. I think body shots are pretty universal. Mm. But you're thinking cold winters, people aren't laying down on tables with their tummies out. No, they've got many layers on. That's what I'm saying. They got that. You got the body suit on you. Winter. Winter, unc unplug. You gotta do the weird unplugging. Yeah. Yeah, you're right. Maybe that is the summertime, I guess the most ultimate summer thing.'cause you can't really have it any other time. Yeah. I would also. Jump on the piggyback and say, Aperol spritz is pretty summer. You're not gonna drink that in the snow. You're not gonna, you're not gonna do that in the snow. Mm, no. You're not though. Mm. But like someone at a lodge, I could see doing it maybe, but it's still weird. But you might just lean more champagne that one then. Yeah, exactly. Or mimosa. Or mimosa. Yeah. You're not, Aperol Spritz is pretty much a summer drink. It's pretty much summer only. Yeah. It needs to be, or. Sangria also summer only. Very summer only. I couldn't do a Winter Sangria. That's called glug. And it's a Swedish warm mulled wine and it's gross. And we're not doing anything with that. No. So pass. So pass. Nice. I like those summer drinks. Okay, those are summer drinks. Good summer drinks. Next topic. This is, we're going another parallel from the last topic. Great proper body shot form. What alcohol? What's the steps? You can only do vodka, or tequila, facts. You can't do anything with sugars or anything like that. No. That's, you're not getting sticky. No. You can't get sticky. That's weird. Mm-hmm. The form is probably laid on a table. Not on the ground. Would be weird. Ground, can't the, that's too dirty. Can't do, that's too dirty. It's weird. Gotta keep your glass clean. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Exactly. Mm-hmm. So you're on a table. Mm-hmm. Hopefully it's dry. Mm-hmm. If it's wet. That sucks for you. If you're doing tequila, are you doing salt? Personally? No. Where would the salt go in your hand? Um, I think you can put the salt, I mean, prepped. You prepped it like you licked your hand, you prepped it and then you l it off someone. I think you could put the salt anywhere. I, I think you could put the salt on them as well. No, I think some people do. Happy trail salt. Really salt. Happy trail. Never seen that. Salt. Happy trail. Salt shot. Huh? Mm hmm. Or chest salt, I think I've seen as well. Chest salt might be hot. Mm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I can back that. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. And then, and can support that number then? Lime in mouth. Lime in mouth. A hundred percent, yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Not every time you don't always need it, but it might look like a clown if you did orange and mouth. Do it like a little fake teeth. But orange is a better, I like orange as a chaser for tequila. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What's your form? Did I miss anything? I was introduced to a new form last summer. What was the form? Because usually my mindset goes, the person's laying down and you go sideways to them. You're on their side. I was introduced to you go through the legs to start. Yeah. That's a crazy form. That's when you up the game. That's real slutty. That's real slutty. Yeah. That's real slutty. They know what's going down later. You're just flirting. Just letting everyone know, yeah, I got this one handled well, then you definitely have the lime in the mouth and you're making out with them after, and you crawl up on the table. Yeah, I think that's, you're both on the table. That's top form. S tear for elite form. Yeah. That's elite form. Yeah. You've, you're fully formed. If you wanna up your form, go down the middle. Don't go. You're fully formed. You're fully formed. Fully evolved. Next topic. Yes. Next topic. Next topic. Uh, best place to be topless the beach. I agree. Yeah, a hundred percent. The beach abroad. Not in America, not an American nude beach. It just feels stupid in America, but it's like hot and sexy if you're in Spain. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Like you're giving. cool girl vibes. Do as the Spanish do? Yeah. Or the French. Or the French or the Italian. I'm pretty sure they all do it. Well, they're all, you know, they're perverts. Perverts. We're literally the most just like them. Conservative. It's in my blood. No. The Americans, yes. It's like weird people just perv on you if you're topless at the beach here, it's not the same. It's not fun and slutty. It's like pervy and uncomfortable. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Agreed. What about you? My favorite place to be topless. Mm-hmm. I gotta say the beach. Well, you can be topless anywhere. You're a guy. I gotta say the beach though. I don't like being topless in the city that much. It's many. Very dirty, many, yeah. Too many eyes though. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Agreed. Mm-hmm. Hit me. Next topic. We're talking about the deed in this one. Mm-hmm. So doing the deed, ocean or pool, ocean, which I don't know. I don't really have a good reason. More romantic. Yeah. I think that's what it is. It's more romantic. It feels cooler. More outside. More outside. pool... you're more of a perv almost. Yeah. Because you're more outside. Yeah, but I does more perv sometimes mean more romantic, sometimes. Not always matters. Who you are I think matters who you are and what you're doing. Yeah. How you're doing it. Perv.. Yeah. What about you? Ocean or pool? Ocean Pool. It just doesn't work. Can be weird. Yeah. Pool's just odd. It's just off. Yeah. Not pool people. Not pool people. We're ocean people. We're ocean people. Okay. Yeah. If we're gonna get a UTI, we're gonna get an ocean UTI. I'd rather get an ocean UTI. There you go. Better story. Yeah. Mm-hmm. It was more worth the bit then. I mean, if you say pool, someone might imagine above ground pool and then you have to commit. Yeah, for real. You just gotta end it right there. Exactly. Next topic. Skinny dipping. Yay nay. We've talked about skinny dipping. How do you feel about it before I know. How do you feel about it? I only want a ocean skinny dip. I've decided. I am fine with that. I'll agree with that. I think we need to skinny dip more because we're almost out of our prime skinny dipping years. That's so true. You know what I'm thinking? Yeah. I was thinking that while writing this. I'm like, you know what? I really have to skinny dip. We're running outta time. I'm running outta time on my skinny dipping. Yeah. Because once I have kids, can't really do it then. Once I get saggy. Not in front of 'em. No. Definitely not in front of 'em, but no. You know, but they're around a lot, you know? You gotta get rid of 'em somehow. Yeah. Yeah. We'll figure that out when we're there. That's next steps. Next topic. Um. Yeah, I was thinking, I'm like, I'm in my prime, my last years of this. But I mean, how old you did say, we're saying staying hot forever. You know, Heidi Klum still skinny dips. Heidi Klum probably does Skinny Dip, but I don't think I, Heidi Klum, I think is naked almost 24 7 when she, I would agree. I imagine, well, in my perverted imagination, I would like to think she's naked a lot too. Um, yeah, but I was like, wow, my prime years like if I get caught on camera, I want it to be sooner rather than later. That's so true. You know what I mean? Like, I don't wanna be caught at 50 skinny dipping. Yeah. The people like, oh, whoa. Why are you doing that? Hey, put there's people here. Put some clothes on. Well now they might be, but I mean, if we're having fun, I like to have fun. We're, I'm never gonna not have fun. I'm gonna, actually, I'm gonna be so honest with you. If we're always gonna be having fun, then we're probably gonna do it when we're 50. Well, we're not really doing it that much now. Well, we don't have a lot of opportunity's. True. We live in the city that's, we're in the east side. Yeah, east side east side.. And I wouldn't wanna do it in Venice. That's true. That's another thing you do. Depends. Depends on the beach. That's another thing. It needs to be a very, like you do it abroad, you do it once you go outta the country, you change. Yeah. You just, new rules. You're like, I don't know these people. Doesn't matter. They're never gonna see me again. It's probably legal here. They literally said, do the deed on the beach. They didn't say anything to me. I got it in the pamphlet. It's in the pamphlet, brother. What do you want me to do? Say no, officer. It's in the pamphlet. Hit me. Next topic. Worst sunburn location. Private parts. Private parts, a hundred percent parts. Absolutely. There's no other answer. I think if my dick started peeling, I would freak the fuck out. Same. I'd be like, I got an S std. If my dick started peeling, I'd freak out. If your dick started peeling, I would divorce you. No, if, if I had like my nipples and my pussy sunburn, I would literally. Freak out. Yeah, that'd be tough. Nipples would actually be not as bad as pussy. Pussy would be horrible. I, I think below the belt is absolutely just nightmare. Has to be so scary for it to skin, like start to peeling. Ew, peeling. I'd be like, oh my God. Does that automatically give you a UTI, I think I might, I dunno. I don't know. We're gonna have to talk to a scientist or something. They would know better than us. Scientists know That feels like it's gonna give you skin cancer immediately. Yeah. Just not, not a U uti. I That's just go straight to the chemo section. Yeah. Yeah. You're done. Yeah. You have melanoma now. Sorry. You are what? They are called cooked. You are fried. Yeah. All right. Hit me. Next topic. Sexiest summer smell. Oh, that's hard. Sexy summer smell. I can lead. Okay. Yeah. Gimme an idea. I have the idea of sunscreen and ocean salt water mixed together. I was thinking the same thing, but I don't know if that's sexy. I think it's sexy for me. It does something. Does that go hand in hand with the aesthetic though? Like tanned skin and like beachy hair? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, because if you smell like ocean but you're not at or near the ocean, you probably have a UTI or something. Yeah, exactly. You like, you might smell bad at that point. So I think it's conditional. Maybe it is conditional. I don't know. I've never smelled an ugly person that smelled like sunscreen and ocean. Sunscreen is a hot smell though. It is. I, because you're like Mm. Yeah. Bikini. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. You're sniffing the slut on them. You're like sniffs, like, were you in SA thong bikini before this? What were you doing? Were you full bush and a thong out there? Dead full bush and a thong. Mm-hmm. I was, oh, no. No, never. No, not my thing. No, you're Keep it clean. Keep it clean. Hi. No, UTI. Next topic. Sexiest Beach. You've been to Ibiza a hundred percent. I know. I co completely, yeah. I, I don't know the name of it. I wanted a fun, the Cliffs and Ibiza. I don't have a better answer. Cliffs and a beach, just find them. I'm hoping the beach we're going to in Mexico is gonna compete. It's gonna be hard. I almost thought about just going back to Ibiza though. I thought that might be your pick. I was like, we might have to just go back. It was so nice. It was so perfect. No, I know. I think we're gonna end up going back there soon. We keep talking about it. I wanna go back. I didn't get enough partying and we should have nighttime skinny dipped there. Why didn't we? We never went back to that place at night. And I'm trying to think why we didn't We're dumb. We're dumb. We're dumb, we're idiots. Have none of us learned. This is a dumb podcast with dumb people. I'm going dumb and dumber. I'm, I'm going right back to that beach and skinny dipping at night before I die. I wanna go now. Can we go now? Cut the podcast. Cut. Cut it short. Get on a plane. Go to our GoFundMe to get us there. Yeah. Mm-hmm. Subscribe to our, I guess OF. I mean, if we film it, we'll make the, the money on the way. I mean, if you guys subscribe, we'll get there. We'll get there somehow. We'll go do it. What was that? Let's go. Stalking. Get her outta here. She was not invited to this party. Mm-hmm. No. That kind of throuple. That was crazy. Mm-hmm. Next topic. Do you have any summer day drinking stories you'd like to share? Because I have one. Okay. We were at Desert Five. They used to throw pool parties every Sunday. They still throw some, but not the same. Some, but not the same. It seems not even blown out. Fizzled out. Yeah, they popped off last year and it's over or they still, or it's still going and we just don't know we're outta could be or we just don't care. The loop could be here and we could be completely out of it. I'm not sure. I'm thinking we just don't care. Could be that. But we were day drinking at that pool party and then we got real drunk.'cause we got, I somehow, we ended up at this table and they gave us a few free shots and our weakness of fellow hot people were talking to us and they're like. We're going somewhere else come and we're like, oh, I was so gone this day. And we're like, oh, we're both like black out I'm cooked. And we're like, oh yeah, we gotta go. That's where the hot people are going. We gotta go. And they're like, who's driving? And like some random guy was driving. I'm like, perfect, well hop in the back. And he had some like. Old, like super cool Jeepy, really cool vintage car. No top. No top. Kind of like those really popular Broncos right now. But it wasn't a Bronco. It might've been an old Bronco. It was just like, but not one of the newly redone ones. Like a vintage one? Yeah, but it was just one, two old SUV, no top on it. And then two little just shit seats in the back that you had to climb to get into. And we climbed in the roll cage to get in those. And we get on the freeway and we're just like, literally, I don't, I felt like there was almost no seat belts in this thing. It was, I don't recall crazy. But we get on the freeway and we have about one to two miles, probably just hit 65 in this thing, and then the hood comes up and smashes the windshield. It's the scariest experience of my entire life. I'm standing in the back of the car now on the 1 0 1 trying to push down the, so he can pull off to the side. His friends in the passenger seat waving down cars so we can get over and he's literally driving blind. Jim Carrey's style. Just fucking, it was the scariest day ever. It was so crazy. I remember, I think I was the only girl in the car, and I was just sitting in the back like, okay, yeah, you were there. I'm along for the ride. You literally were just like, this is it. I literally was like, uh, this is how I die. So that's my summer day, drinking that summer day, drinking the. debauchery, I think of that.'Cause it was so much fun. Nothing got really hurt like the windshield. No one got hurt, the windshield got put down or the, whatever the fuck it's called, the hood got put back down. The windshield just had like a little crack and no one got hurt. And then I don't even, we just finished the night out. Yeah. That's a honestly the best day drinking story. Maybe we have, yeah. I'm sure there's others. I'm sure there's others, but for right now, I think we'll cap it there. Yeah. Mm-hmm. You'll have to keep listening to hear more of our day drinking parties. Mm. And follow us on Instagram. Oh, it They more go there. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of hit me next topic. Sexiest summer photo you've ever taken. I mean, I feel like you wouldn't know they're summer. They're just like nighttime slutty, makeout photos. Mm. Do you have one you're specifically thinking of? No, there's a bunch that just immediately went the Rolodex, but I think they're all mostly at night. So you wouldn't clock that They're summer, but they are summer, but they are summer. What about you? I think I just recently took it. Which one? It's me in leopard pants, shirtless at that pool party. With a bottle of tequila in my pants and you're on your knees drinking the tequila. That's a good one for me though. That's more on my end. Sexy. That's more for you. Sexy. Yes. You've definitely had sexier in other ways. My sexy photos are not for the podcast, for the, uh, private holder. Yeah. That is, uh, not to be published. Oh, whoa. I have one printer right here. That looks great. Uh, put up the photo I've said. Thank you. You're welcome. Next topic. Tan lines hot or not? Very hot. Very hot. Very hot. Very hot. Mad. I don't have more, but I also don't get tan. I love a crisp, hard tan line. I know you do. Mm-hmm. Yeah. I But you're Swedish, so you know I don't get tan. That's all right. It's very annoying how much you like tan. You're the tannest I've ever seen you. Thank you. Congrats. I'm so tan right now. So tan, so skinny, so busty, so hot. Skinny, busty hot. I don't know if I've got the tan going, but um, yeah. I would love to have a really harsh tan line. Mm. But I just don't. Yeah. I don't know if I ever will. It's not really for me, but that's okay. Mm. I just wish I did'cause I know how much you'd like it. Oh, I like it. You like it? I like it. It's fun. Mm-hmm. Very cool girl. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Next topic. Sexiest resort. Whoa. Resort or hotel you've been to? Hmm. I was gonna gut go Ibiza again. Okay. But, oh, I'm gonna pull out a crazy one. Okay. When we stayed in Sorento at that yacht club, if it wasn't winter and it was summer,'cause our room looked at right out over that little cove. That one would've been a little lit. That one would've been pretty nice laid if we had the laid of you. A little better laid there. Yeah. Yeah. That would've been nice. That would've been a lot of trouble. Yeah. That would've gotten us into a lot of trouble. Uhhuh. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. That step, probably the sexiest one, actually. That's pretty nice. That's pretty nice answer. Yeah. Thank you. Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. What's your answer? I'll go to the Ibiza one, and I just remember. Remember that old guy who had two girlfriends there? Oh my God. He was so fun to watch. Wait, this was the funniest story. So we were at the pool, just day drinking and chilling. We were a little hungover, so we were like just kind of chilling at the beach Recovery day. And we're literally, I think for like five hours, we watched this maybe 65-year-old man mm-hmm. With two, maybe 21-year-old women. I would say 23 maybe. Yeah. We really aren't sure how old they were. We aren't, um, making out with them on the day beds. Mm-hmm. Had both of 'em just being full out. Mm-hmm. With both of 'em. Yeah. For hours. Which I appreciated. Uh, seeing sluttiness in public. You don't see sluttiness as like that in public ever. I appreciate it. I'm like, go have fun. Pop off king. Pop off King. I don't care. But, but the question I wanted answered that we never got answered was how much money he has, that's the second question. Did he bring them there or did he find them there? He brought them there. You think that? Yeah. He ordered, brought them pizza. I feel like. Come to my hotel. Yeah. Fly flew them. Or are we going on a trip? Mm. See what I'm saying? Did they all go to Ibiza together or did he find them in Ibiza and invite them over? No, he flew them to Ibiza. Yeah. Yeah, he for sure. Okay. Maybe he flew with them, but he flew them there for sure. All right. Yeah, and I'm gonna say honorary mention of our, where were we? Tulum. Hotel that that had neighbors, that topless hotel, not topless. A full nude. The nude resort. Nude Nude resort that was right next to it under the same property. It was so crazy. It was so weird. And they were hidden off like it was Jurassic Park, park Walls. It was crazy. It was like they're in Jurassic Park, the little bit park. The walls went down the beach too, so you couldn't see into their beach area. More complicated than the border. Honestly, we couldn't get over there Honorary mention to them though. Yeah, I mean, we, we didn't, I'm sure those people were really whoring it up over there. I'm like, what did their club, they had like their own private club and everything too. Look, I was like, I wanna see. Yeah. I'm like, let me in, let me in, let me peek. Come on. Just for like a minute, for the bit. And they, they literally, they were like, no, you didn't pay to see it. You're like, oh, I'm paying something. I'm here. I'm next door. That should count for something. Next topic, sexiest vacation. That you've never had a Ibiza Topless on the beach. Mm. Cliff diving. Mm, partying. Mm. Anything crazy happen partying there though? Not while we were partying.'cause we didn't quite do it right. We didn't quite do it right. We should have vi iped'cause we're VIP people. Yeah. And we were just too packed in'cause um, David Guetta was playing. Yeah. And it was like it was too much. Too packed. Mm-hmm. They overpacked that club. Yeah. Was it the only club? How many days were we there? Not that, we were only there for like two days. Three days. Yeah. Two or three and one was a Sunday. Ah, ah, mm-hmm. So we didn't nail the clubbing, but Barcelona, we went to that club. That went great. But you said sexiest true. You didn't say best clubbing. True. Barcelona clubbing was fun. It was fun. And they crazy. Took us outta line'cause we're hot. Sexy maybe sexiest clubbing actually. Uh, I didn't get that sexy on the club either there. Yeah, it did. Oh, what happened? Nothing. Ah, okay. Just had a good time with some locals and that's our show. Is that the last topic? That is the last topic. Oh, well thanks for listening. If you wanna hear more about our crazy stories, follow us on Instagram. They usually get posted there and like, and subscribe. Like this episode, comment, subscribe. And that's our show. Thanks for listening. Wait and let us know what you wanna talk about next week. Oh yeah. Give us, uh, topic suggestions and we'll do it. Yeah, we'll do it right here. Bye bye.